School, Awkward and Love: Assumptions

Assumptions

By Crappyfayman - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said, "Not in a million years, fat ass!" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 308

You deserved it 3 700

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Sounds promising

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 770

You deserved it 3 235

You've got mail

By guest - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Argentina - Buenos Aires

Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend that said, "I love you." Thinking this meant he'd changed his mind about breaking up with me less than 24 hours before, I replied back excitedly. Turns out that was a text sent last weekend that didn't go through until now. What great timing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 457

You deserved it 2 080

Creepy

By Fail - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me, talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "So… does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 442

You deserved it 3 117

There was an attempt…

By JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 649

You deserved it 2 923

Nice neighborhood

By Mrs. W. - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a kid on a bike passed me and commented on my "big fat butt." Recognizing him from the neighborhood, I told my husband to go speak to his parents about the inappropriate comment. It turns out his father is the man who yesterday commented on my "big bouncing tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 940

You deserved it 2 497

Method acting

By hannahk267 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 611

You deserved it 4 490

Crossed wires

By hudd357mag - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 755

You deserved it 2 532

Treat yourself

By birthday bash - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 211

You deserved it 5 240

Sketchy

By Wolf - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 877

You deserved it 2 469

Pleased to meet you

By Mr_Yato - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a girl in my class introduced herself to me for the fourth time this semester. Am I really that invisible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 919

You deserved it 1 935

Astraea 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:11

oh that sucks really. Im sorry for you you should have punched her in the face.

jayjaysmokerson 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:14

you should have told that bitch to suck it.

Comments

sweatyanready 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 4:48

maybe you should loose some wieght so you could get ladies.

canzo378 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 5:28

well it's not a fml, but fhl... you don't have to even budge...

imdeborah 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 5:47

sucks for her. I wouldve taken the note from her, gave back to whoever wrote it

miszxchristy 2

Wednesday 24 February 2010 7:08

awws

macylol 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 7:09

what a biznetch!!

samantha_durano 6

Wednesday 24 February 2010 7:46

haha, biznetch.

candy1 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 9:55

omg that's painful!!! I hope you're doing okay!!

buckeye1448 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 19:46

yeah that sucks. Luckily Karmas a bigger bitch than she is!

idaniboo 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 20:51

she's a bitch. yls ):

xkylieshea 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 0:21

i would bitch slap her!!

Musickal 16

Thursday 25 February 2010 1:06

This is what you get for passing notes in class! No, but seriously, what a terrible thing to say. Hopefully a pelican will shit on her face.

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

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Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 403

The Top

Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 806

You deserved it 3 453

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How, you may ask? He used the Adult Swim "We should see other people" commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 608

You deserved it 301

Today, I found my lost iPhone earbuds. In the cat litter box. I am 100% sure that they passed through my cat to get there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 658

You deserved it 4 769

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 827

You deserved it 4 615

Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 704

You deserved it 3 863

Today, I discovered that catching fewer mice in the traps I'd put out doesn't mean my pest problem is getting resolved. It means that rats have moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 751

You deserved it 2 826

Same thing different taste

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