Miscellaneous: Bigmouth strikes again

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 09/09/2009 09:58 - New Zealand

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer, I saw her battery was flat so I said, "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said, "Not yet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 531

You deserved it 54 632

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Same thing different taste

By janedoe - 12/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 810

You deserved it 12 748

By mrdentist - 02/12/2010 13:20

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 849

You deserved it 5 538

By Anto - 03/12/2008 06:11 - France

Today, in front of a hospital, I noticed that an old lady was having trouble lighting her cigarette because she had Parkison's. So I went to help her to light it up and she then started chatting with me and told me she had lung cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 926

You deserved it 6 905

Brain freeze

By Anonymous - 13/06/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I work at a hospice center. At 3AM, a call just went out to a man's family to come because he was dying. I didn't realize that this man was my old friend's grandpa. When I saw her, I smiled really big and said, "Hey! Great to see you!" Her grandpa was ACTIVELY DYING. Stupid stupid stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 175

Leave it

By caleighrossi - 16/06/2014 00:21 - United States - Ottumwa

Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 608

You deserved it 5 382

By Harejordan - 04/02/2009 16:44 - United States

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 162

You deserved it 36 440

By Anonymous - 05/10/2012 05:49 - United States

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 642

You deserved it 2 376

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 17:12 - United States

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 460

You deserved it 65 608

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 22:00

Today, I visited with my cousin on her deathbed. When I asked what she was doing, they replied that she was sleeping. Next thing out my mouth without thinking was, "She can sleep when she's dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 2 427

Adieu

By Pain - 24/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I saw an old friend while out and about. Since I don't leave the house very often, my friend was surprised to see me in person. He jokingly asked if someone was dying, and I cried in response. I was in fact going to the hospital to say goodbye to my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 127

AtoZnumbersand_ 1

Wednesday 9 September 2009 16:03

Ydi for saying something like that as a rest home. And who says that? If my phone runs out of battery I don't tell people i'm dead. YDI.

kaisar0 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 16:03

ZING!

Comments

kaisar0 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 16:03

ZING!

iGreen_Day 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 16:20

Smooth.

DoomJeff91 2

Wednesday 9 September 2009 18:08

If ZING is the new first, I'm gonna kill someone.

HahaYDI 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 22:01

Yeah and ZANG=Second, these FMLers are getting smarter. Not really.

kaisar0 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 1:50

Actually. I was trying to think of something witty and sarcastic to say, but the only thing to come to mind was "ZING!"

bitterthread 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 2:25

Why does electric have to be in parentheses

drifter5031 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 7:44

u asshole

ilovefatcats 12

Saturday 3 April 2010 4:40

hahahaha o peed a little bit xDDD

AtoZnumbersand_ 1

Wednesday 9 September 2009 16:03

Ydi for saying something like that as a rest home. And who says that? If my phone runs out of battery I don't tell people i'm dead. YDI.

hazza_1234 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 8:35

i say i'm dead?? thought it was pretty common... lol

totalbadass 0

Friday 11 September 2009 21:27

Cause a wheelchair is technically an extension of the body if you're handicapped. If it dies, so do you, because you become effectively nonfunctional.

dabomblyktiktikk 0

Tuesday 23 March 2010 2:48

me2 ... ^^

ArielTheMermaid 17

Monday 17 October 2011 1:22

Well it's kinda like when people's phones vibrate, and they yell 'I'm vibrating!' OP: that's totally something I would do. Just apologize and move on :)

SKYblue_fml 1

Wednesday 9 September 2009 16:09

haha. I lol'd this is awesome for sure.

noobgang7 5

Saturday 27 February 2010 2:57

noooo that's really sad... imagine living all alone for the last years of your life

lsinc20 5

Sunday 10 April 2011 7:01

r u souless or something??? cause that comment was just horrible!

metalhead867 6

Sunday 6 November 2011 17:14

Bitch.

Bloodknight 22

Wednesday 9 September 2009 16:13

Bwahahaha! Instantly favorited. I could totally see myself doing something like that. No reason to mull over it though. Apologize, say you didn't mean it like that, and move on.