Gross, Underwear and Work: Brain bleach please

Brain bleach please

By unashamed - 05/06/2014 08:11 - Australia - Ipswich

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 329

You deserved it 4 764

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Same thing different taste

Nice boxers

By Harmonia - 26/01/2009 10:09 - France

Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 871

You deserved it 9 545

Oh shit…

By half-dead in CA - 31/05/2014 16:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 331

You deserved it 4 014

By spiderchick23 - 10/02/2011 00:41 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 503

You deserved it 2 855

By Shoes - 12/06/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 156

You deserved it 4 231

Heartwarming story

By Anonymous - 06/10/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had no choice but to shit himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he'd pooped in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 730

You deserved it 5 443

By jacie - 18/11/2018 15:30

Today, I tried on a pair of pants in a dressing room and they didn’t fit. However, my period came suddenly and left a massive bloodstain, so I had to buy them anyway. In case you’re wondering, the pants were white, the cashier was male and cute, and he definitely noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 211

You deserved it 392

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 203

By CA - 08/10/2015 14:46 - Norway

Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 588

You deserved it 1 633

Pish yerself

By breyn - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 056

You deserved it 2 534

By Sbfreak510 - 16/10/2009 16:30 - France

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work and I put on yesterday's jeans. While at my meeting an employee asked me if 'that' was mine and pointed to something on the floor next to me. Which was yesterday's underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 310

You deserved it 31 141

Welshite 39

Thursday 5 June 2014 14:24

Direct him to the diaper section. Those are white...

goodwithoutgods 20

Thursday 5 June 2014 14:26

That's actually not a bad idea

Comments

koreamaniac101 7

Thursday 5 June 2014 19:19

LITTLE ******* *******

martin8337 35

Thursday 5 June 2014 19:32

What do old people ass smell like? Depends.

f0xr0t 8

Thursday 5 June 2014 19:37

he just doesnt want to be in a shitty situation

WeskersSexslave 15

Thursday 5 June 2014 21:05

lmaoo!!! old people say the darndest things!

ldkindasucks 6

Thursday 5 June 2014 21:05

Never really understood why people would say "FML" to something that is clearly an FML for the person they dealt with..

WeskersSexslave 15

Thursday 5 June 2014 21:06

it works for girls when they get their period too lmao you cant tell on dark colors >xD

gregpeters 2

Thursday 5 June 2014 21:13

How the **** is it f your life

squarecircles 13

Thursday 5 June 2014 21:20

I guess when some ppl reach a certain age they become too old to give a shit what other ppl think. The older you get...

annunaki_fml 11

Thursday 5 June 2014 21:33

This is how supervillans are created.

ladybugz23 13

Thursday 5 June 2014 22:50

lol help him out..its part of your job

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You deserved it 8

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You deserved it 3 015

The Top

Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 546

You deserved it 427

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 223

You deserved it 4 415

Today, I misplaced my wallet. Fortunately, I knew exactly where it was. Unfortunately, I had just taken out the only form of picture ID that morning. I couldn't stop the finders from laughing as they saw my fake celebrity entertainment ID while I tried to convince them it was actually my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 368

You deserved it 18 058

Today, I’m stuck on a date with a man who got ready by washing his car instead of showering, is proud to never read newspapers because “they lie”, and thinks racist jokes count as witty conversation. I’d have left already but he drove me, there’s no bus stop nearby, and no Ubers in the area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 140

Today, my date walked out on me during our first encounter when he found out my prosthetic leg wasn’t the result of "fighting terrorists to protect democracy", but a splinter that went septic and caused gangrene. Apparently I’m no longer heroic enough for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 151

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about my weight. He said, "Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to lose THAT much weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 037

You deserved it 28 714