Carpe diem

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy
Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 577
You deserved it 12 012
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Epic_Phale615 0

Don't trick your dog by getting into the doggy style position?

98 0
A7X_LoVeee 10

Don't lie. you enjoyed it.

62 3

Comments

Epic_Phale615 0

Don't trick your dog by getting into the doggy style position?

98 0
Alex94xela 0

lol if it humped the shit out of her we can assume it's anal? an ydi for bending over and teasing him

2 0
L3Paparazzo 7

dog in heat lmfaoo is that even possible?

0 0
seanders 10

Little miss Hubbard Went until the cupboard To fetch her poor dig a bone But when she bent over Rover took over And gave her a bone if her own

2 0
seanders 10

And dog not dig bah!!! I wish you could modify your posts lol.

0 0
KingDingALing 9

It wasn't rape because the OP loved it. It also wasn't a fail because it was the most kinky and sexiest thing ever. For all we know, the OP could have switched up the words "Fetch, boy! Fetch!" to "Hump, boy! Hump!"

0 1
Pawned71 0

lololol OP likes forced ***********... XD

0 0
ericownz101 0

you and me baby aint nothin but mammals so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel..

0 0
ImaginaryFoe 0

Agreed. OP, don't be a tease. YDI and your dog is brilliant.

17 0
ydi_4_suking 20

he saw an open portal and said to himself. **** it

20 0
instnt1nfction 17

you could just say thats what she said throughout the whole FML

10 2
dcam13 19

oh shut up, at least you finally got some. be happy:)

16 1
borkchop1992 15

ya take it up the bitch

2 0
Mr_Questions 0

Who humped OP? A) The Dog B) You/Me C) A Chicken D) The Ball

2 0
SilenceIsSilver 0

143 You mean that's what he said? just change "dog" to "bitch" and "he" to "she"

6 2
SilenceIsSilver 0

On second thought, the whole ball scene would make it sound gay. You're right.

0 7
Hwikek 2

Dude, WTF is wrong with u :? 0_0

3 0
morgan320 0

Did the ball hump you so hard you shit yourself, OP? O.O

3 1
impatientsnake 4

I would hump u too same as the dog op

1 15
ishatmyselfonce 0

yeah but clearly look retarded from your picture so OP'd understand

7 0
ifyouseekamy666 0

this exact same situation happened to me but with my boyfriend not my dog..

13 1
dre_bro11 12

nice 246, but then again, don't that happen with most couples?

0 4
ifyouseekamy666 0

haha I guess so :p

0 0
fyro01 4

Your Dog & Co. putting the 'dog' in doggy style since 1989

6 0
zDylanz 6

Tell your boyfriend to get self control ;).

1 0
ifyouseekamy666 0

lol well i like my crazy bf he's more fun than some guy with self-control haha ;)

0 0
RiiOT09 9

primal instincts... if it bothers you that much, have him fixed

25 3
alliewillie 22

being fixed has nothing to do it. the dog knows and understands OP is not the same species. it about dominance. he's saying OP is his bitch.

7 0
RiiOT09 9

for some dogs being fixed stops that habit, at least with my friend's 170lb great dane

7 2
bubble25_fml 5

lol at 81 for thinking humping is a habit!

4 8
starwarsguy330 0

dude cutting of thier balls gets rid of testosterone; the sex hormone so no testosterone=less thought. if we had our balls cut off we would have less desire if any at all

6 2
forgettingsunday 0

getting fixed doesn't do shit. my german shepherd tried to **** my friends dog and he's fixed.

9 0
DaveOnDope 4

When I was in Yosemite I saw a block of Swiss. Strangely enough, I thought of humping them too. In my 20's I'd hump just about anything that'd hold still long enough. Except for S. Quentin Quail.

5 1
devinmurnan 0

your pic is scary sir... but so are ghosts…

0 0
AmandaLee2320 2

It's nothing sexual. It's about DOMINANCE. My 130 pound Bullmastiff sometimes still tries to hump me when we're playing, and he's been neutered for 3 years.

5 0
dannnngthatsux 19

If it was about dominance, there'd be a shitload more deaths per year, watch dogs play...

0 0
A7X_LoVeee 10

Don't lie. you enjoyed it.

62 3
SmallyBigs 9

50: your picture made near P.I.M.P. laughing.

1 0
mrmerino 0

some people really are into that. god bless those zoophiles.

2 0
avatar0810 15

coming at you when you least expect it

0 0
denvan 0

You like the back door deal

3 0
BayBeezy 0

or else op wouldn't give his dog the doggie position.... if us humans like it, WTF is a dog going think when it sees it?? duhr!

0 0
CateXOX 0

Ahaha someone doesn't get it, and it's not 14 I'm talking about

0 0
DaveOnDope 4

I got it. heeeeeeeeee

0 0
justalilrandom2 4

14 I watched my cousins' bitch hump legs, it's bed, their soft toys and just about anything else. Don't tell me it isn't possible.

0 0
dropdead16 0

my cousins dog humped her face. it's also a chick dog. so. yea.

0 0
A7X_LoVeee 10

LOLOLOLOL this was great! Thanks for the giggles

0 0
brunettegurly 0

that made me chortle

1 0
stroudie94 9

lmfao!!! you sir win on so many levels!

0 0
SassiestLemon 2

129- Word of the day references are AMAZING!! Thank you :)

0 0
fyro01 4

haha! very nice! and perfect timing!

0 0
Blehhxx 0

Why would you bring up her race? It was completely un called for.

3 1
IndianRapper 0

u know what bitch? im not gonna take any offense cuz u obviously dont know me so....**** off

2 1
samadams42 0

you sir need to shave your mustache because it is impairing your vision to see

0 0
DaveOnDope 4

So, how's that avatar working for you?

0 0
valri3 0

I'm surprised that some one didn't get moderated.

0 0
Jizwold 0

I don't think people are ever really racist against indians. ps I'd hit it

0 0
IndianRapper 0

actually, thats not true. theres a lot of people that hate indians for no good reason, and people always joke around with me about how im their "favorite indian" or how im the only "normal indian" but i also hear atleast one racist comment a day...im usually not this mean but im having a bad day sooo... the thing is, people like to pick on others who are different to make themselves feel better, which is just sad...

1 1
KMilliron 2

Foreigners that rap and play piano are kickass! If you got videos send me links, homeslice. Please and thank you.

0 0
IndianRapper 0

haha thnx, but its all good, racists aint got SHIT on me;)

2 1
KMilliron 2

Holy shit you got a dp up!!! Chick musicians kick ass, so added to your already totaled cool points you are now ranked under "legit shit"

0 1
IndianRapper 0

haha thnx;) wait so u didnt know i was a girl before?

0 1