Dogs and Animals: Carpe diem

Carpe diem

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 576

You deserved it 12 012

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Top comments

Epic_Phale615 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 0:03

Don't trick your dog by getting into the doggy style position?

A7X_LoVeee 10

Thursday 24 March 2011 0:03

Don't lie. you enjoyed it.

Comments

titan87 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 0:12

So tell us what is it like to get molested by your dog???

lilody_fml 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 0:12

awwww. so much love. doggy style

ThickHead 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 0:13

trust me, you like it. if your single you probably pulled down your pants an got his dick in you. if you dating someone you probably called them up.

jessecax 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 0:15

he wanted to do it doggy style!

theunicornhumper 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 0:15

The issue here is that you did not return the favor. In loving relationships, you're allowed to pitch sometimes too. (:

DNMendez95 3

Thursday 24 March 2011 0:17

Yell out "RAPE"

awsomeshopper 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 0:21

ohh wow

rowanzora 3

Thursday 24 March 2011 0:22

I ******* lold.

stephanie911_fml 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 0:23

He is lonely. Get him a female!

DrewPballBag 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 0:24

nick nack paddy whack, give the dog a bone..r!

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird

The Top

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The Top

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had no choice but to shit himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he'd pooped in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 730

You deserved it 5 443

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 862

You deserved it 1 787

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I agree, your life sucks 11 194

You deserved it 1 928

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 057

You deserved it 4 275

Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 986

You deserved it 3 897

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I agree, your life sucks 63 620

You deserved it 8 836