Kids: Charming dude

Charming dude

By unzucht - 30/05/2012 16:45 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 731

You deserved it 2 491

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By Anonyname - 18/05/2014 19:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 904

You deserved it 10 605

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 063

You deserved it 6 154

By wow - 15/04/2013 18:36 - Russian Federation - Saint Petersburg

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 963

You deserved it 6 738

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 15:00 - South Africa

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 935

You deserved it 2 185

By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 17:55 - United States - Newport

Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 393

You deserved it 3 376

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 942

You deserved it 1 771

By paging dr. kevorkian - 16/05/2013 21:23 - Netherlands

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 802

You deserved it 5 915

By TKPhai - 05/04/2015 03:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 200

You deserved it 16 475

By kimmykins27 - 31/10/2014 12:58 - United States

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 202

You deserved it 3 074

By mandie - 13/11/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 460

You deserved it 2 539

Il_Maestro 6

Wednesday 30 May 2012 22:38

Is your wife a Mudblood?

mgkgambino 3

Wednesday 30 May 2012 22:36

He got out of the nursing home a little too early?

Comments

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Thursday 31 May 2012 0:29

I say. You say. We say. Partay!

Rainbowjumper0 12

Thursday 31 May 2012 0:45

Well at least your child is yours, not theirs!

dragondude2 7

Thursday 31 May 2012 0:49

Your grandfather may be a part of the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement, and may regret ever having your father and dislike any further results of said action . . . Surprise!

eccentrix 12

Thursday 31 May 2012 0:50

Maybe something was lost in translation, but isn't 'breeder' slang for 'straight person'? At least, that's the only meaning I've heard for it.

Lichinamo 33

Thursday 31 May 2012 0:52

Breeders is a variation of 'living creature that breeds', which is a living creature that has offspring.

iwadasn 32

Thursday 31 May 2012 2:30

It's usually used contemptuously by people who believe that human overpopulation is so bad that no one should make any babies. Some think that people should just adopt already existing babies instead of having their own, but others want there to be NO babies so humans will "save the planet" by going extinct.