Love: Charming

Charming

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 16:46 - Egypt

Today, the man I was going on a dinner date with bought me an expensive necklace. We got to the table he had reserved when his friend came and sat with us. Somehow, the subject of getting it on came up. My date then said, "Expensive jewelry - one way ticket to her pants." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 032

You deserved it 6 715

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Same thing different taste

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 070

You deserved it 4 128

By JJ_V3N0M - 03/01/2015 10:48 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 948

You deserved it 9 413

By Nickolas Neffster - 05/10/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 131

You deserved it 3 109

By notyouraverageteenager - 10/06/2010 07:06 - Australia

Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 327

You deserved it 7 331

By eaa145 - 03/03/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158 393

You deserved it 18 259

Great date night

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 06:01

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 192

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 01:49 - United States

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 626

You deserved it 3 903

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 10:00 - Australia - Peakhurst

Today, on my 11-year anniversary with my wife, I bought her a nice necklace and we went to an Indian restaurant where we had the most sensational banquet meal. When we got home, I suggested we made love, to which she replied, "I don't like you enough to do that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 230

By Anonymous - 30/07/2013 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 256

You deserved it 3 703

Jumping the gun

By Storm - 23/09/2011 03:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 281

You deserved it 5 946

poolshark 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:21

Now would be a good time to tell him about your recent vow of celibacy...

purple5 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:25

Hm...I'd have said I was going to the bathroom, and then leave. You get to leave him behind and keep the necklace - score!

Comments

false_swipes 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:19

He's a keeper. Just prove him wrong. :)

JohnFR33M4N 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:20

Well you better not make him miss his flight.

Amandaisdreaming 7

Monday 18 May 2009 23:21

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

poolshark 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:21

Now would be a good time to tell him about your recent vow of celibacy...

genius_man16 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:21

Well... did it work?

soccerfreak878 0

Thursday 1 April 2010 12:36

haha #6 was epic!

brydeec 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:21

What a ******* douche.

ohhboyy 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:22

#1 I didn't know FML made it all the way to Egypt!

lame16 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:22

...i don't get it =(

B00_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:22

I'd "lose" the necklace and HIM real fast.

vanityinsanity 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:23

haha well its true...

ambersayshii123 17

Thursday 5 July 2018 10:21

for some women, not all

Keywords

Politics Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Family Games Money Autism Mental health Health Relatable Tinder Dating First Dates Pizza Love Awkward Dogs Weddings Work Poopoo peepee Toilet Embarrassing Noise Neighbours Transportation Friends Airport Photography Food

The Top

Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 957

You deserved it 3 371

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 954

You deserved it 16 706

The Top

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 077

You deserved it 6 604

Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 369

You deserved it 23 370

Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 226

You deserved it 4 942

Today, I woke up in a good mood, and I excitedly shared with my mom that I was in a "wonderful mood." Her response was to yell at me because she’s "had it with my fucking sarcasm." She refuses to believe I wasn’t being sarcastic. Day ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 142

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated my jaw trying to get me off him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 005

You deserved it 14 431

Today, I got a call from a potential employer. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand the man due to his incoherent mumbling. I had to decline the job after asking him to repeat everything he said, over and over again. I still don't know exactly which job I declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 225

You deserved it 2 490

Charming

Same thing different taste

Great date night

Wait, what?

Romance is dead

Jumping the gun

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