Love: Charming

Charming

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 16:46 - Egypt

Today, the man I was going on a dinner date with bought me an expensive necklace. We got to the table he had reserved when his friend came and sat with us. Somehow, the subject of getting it on came up. My date then said, "Expensive jewelry - one way ticket to her pants." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 036

You deserved it 6 716

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Same thing different taste

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 070

You deserved it 4 128

By JJ_V3N0M - 03/01/2015 10:48 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 948

You deserved it 9 414

By Nickolas Neffster - 05/10/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 138

You deserved it 3 110

By notyouraverageteenager - 10/06/2010 07:06 - Australia

Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 328

You deserved it 7 331

By eaa145 - 03/03/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158 406

You deserved it 18 262

Great date night

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 06:01

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 818

You deserved it 192

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 01:49 - United States

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 630

You deserved it 3 905

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 10:00 - Australia - Peakhurst

Today, on my 11-year anniversary with my wife, I bought her a nice necklace and we went to an Indian restaurant where we had the most sensational banquet meal. When we got home, I suggested we made love, to which she replied, "I don't like you enough to do that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 234

By Anonymous - 30/07/2013 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 256

You deserved it 3 703

Jumping the gun

By Storm - 23/09/2011 03:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 284

You deserved it 5 946

poolshark 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:21

Now would be a good time to tell him about your recent vow of celibacy...

purple5 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:25

Hm...I'd have said I was going to the bathroom, and then leave. You get to leave him behind and keep the necklace - score!

Comments

false_swipes 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:19

He's a keeper. Just prove him wrong. :)

JohnFR33M4N 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:20

Well you better not make him miss his flight.

Amandaisdreaming 7

Monday 18 May 2009 23:21

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

poolshark 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:21

Now would be a good time to tell him about your recent vow of celibacy...

genius_man16 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:21

Well... did it work?

soccerfreak878 0

Thursday 1 April 2010 12:36

haha #6 was epic!

brydeec 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:21

What a ******* douche.

ohhboyy 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:22

#1 I didn't know FML made it all the way to Egypt!

lame16 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:22

...i don't get it =(

B00_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:22

I'd "lose" the necklace and HIM real fast.

vanityinsanity 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:23

haha well its true...

ambersayshii123 17

Thursday 5 July 2018 10:21

for some women, not all

Keywords

Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Smells Love Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk Am I overreacting? Transportation AITA Alcohol Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, I was having dinner at a restaurant with my best friend and her 18-month-old. I really had to fart, so I let one go silently, hoping it would go unnoticed. I caught a whiff of it, but so did my friend apparently, because she made a face and then held up her baby to smell her diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 542

You deserved it 1 376

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 786

You deserved it 22 717

The Top

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 483

You deserved it 12 198

Today, I have really big insecurities, and the ONLY thing I like about myself is my hair. I got it permed yesterday, and just now I used shampoo on it, and my hair is falling out. All 12” of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 355

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 554

You deserved it 12 049

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 766

You deserved it 47 964

Today, I was at Walmart and I asked an employee for help. She turned around with tears streaming down her face and said, “I'm kind of in the middle of an emergency right now!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 233

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 796

You deserved it 11 020

Charming

Same thing different taste

Great date night

Wait, what?

Romance is dead

Jumping the gun

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