Intimacy: Code of silence

Code of silence

By nean83 - 12/01/2013 05:11 - United States - Inglewood

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 501

You deserved it 39 901

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Thanks, Dad!

By Sam - 28/11/2008 08:50 - France

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 572

You deserved it 11 314

Busted

By wookieewhosshe - 19/06/2019 21:13

Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 722

Thanks Dad

By Anonymous - 17/11/2020 14:01

Today, I was cleaning out my deceased father's closet and found 4 boxes of BDSM porn videos, magazines and DVDs. To save his dignity, I hid them in my room to throw away on garbage day. My mom found the boxes in my room and now wants me to go to therapy. I'm only 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 188

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 08:18 - Australia

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 836

You deserved it 3 844

By Une Fille - 18/12/2011 05:18 - Canada

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 290

You deserved it 44 303

shrinks into corner

By Ally - 24/03/2018 05:00

Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 743

You deserved it 660

Good catch

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 23:52 - United States

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said, "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 586

You deserved it 91 007

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 919

You deserved it 58 641

TMI!

By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 04:32 - United States

Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 103

You deserved it 2 163

By ;)loganberry(; - 27/12/2011 17:58 - United States

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 691

You deserved it 50 419

SerpentBoy 8

Saturday 12 January 2013 12:23

That's a good Dad right there... He knew it was your business and he left it that way.. I'm sure he will be trying to forget about it anyway...

conqueror57 11

Saturday 12 January 2013 12:28

ALWAYS handle the important things yourself.

Comments

HortonThelephant 15

Saturday 12 January 2013 16:08

Truly horrendous mental imagery for dear ol' dad...

dieselwrench4 4

Saturday 12 January 2013 16:11

so much for a discreet toy box...

lulzcoaster 3

Saturday 12 January 2013 16:31

Dear lord u filled a box with them? how many whips and chains can a woman have?

BrotherTheo 31

Saturday 12 January 2013 16:35

On the + side he didn't want to have a nice long chat with you and/or your boyfriend about them. Count your blessings.

wanderingshopper 13

Saturday 12 January 2013 16:44

You should have taken care of it yourself. Your toys, your responsibility.

hallow239 3

Saturday 12 January 2013 16:58

FYDL- **** your dads life

Obey_StudBoii 23

Saturday 12 January 2013 18:04

Lol dads will be dads. It's their job to be that cool.

GillesOrElse 5

Saturday 12 January 2013 18:06

This proves.. lf you want something done right.. Do it yourself".. You were on a roll on that regarding the "big-box-o-naughty-toys".. Why did you mess that up at the last minute?.. Such a shame....