Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Cold shower

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 553

You deserved it 48 721

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Same thing different taste

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 645

You deserved it 45 073

By iris - 18/05/2012 23:01 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 249

You deserved it 36 277

Cheeky

By woopdeedo_1 - 07/03/2010 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 247

You deserved it 3 615

Just… why?

By Ob3nie - 14/07/2014 17:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a FaceTime. Busted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 663

You deserved it 54 165

Hello Zoe

By Zoe123 - 19/03/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and started knocking on his door, asking, "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answered, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 272

You deserved it 16 654

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 00:02 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 824

You deserved it 6 578

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 421

You deserved it 23 279

Pull up

By ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 483

You deserved it 6 199

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 586

You deserved it 47 231

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 017

You deserved it 8 947

mizled 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:27

You read your texts during sex? That's just bad manners...

Chaith 16

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:31

Hey, that's cool, your boyfriend frequents fmylife.com too! "Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML"

Comments

crzynlove11708 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:56

so ur parents dont care if u have sex with ur bf? whts up with that?

acc093 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 0:00

uh, how about check to make sure no ones home next time..? honestly....

xabre1200 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 0:00

You should learn your grammar. It's " you're ", not your.

mrcarmine 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 0:04

this was posted by MrAwsum? Mr?

DanceOnTheEdge 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 0:07

lol, thats hilarious.

SlickWilly440 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 0:10

I guess the only way the father could tell that she was faking is because he is involved with sexual relations with her.

missbucket 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 0:17

The real FML is her having to fake. I hate having to fake.

csigabajnok 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 0:20

3 things: don't text while having sex, don't fake and make sure nobody's at home if you tend to be loud. Or cut down on the volume.

122vanessa122 5

Wednesday 18 March 2009 0:21

lmfao, ouchh.

Grand_Marquis 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 0:48

So wait - were they calling you on faking an ******, or faking an FML? Cuz last time I checked, it's kinda tough for a dude to fake it, "MR" Awsum. ;)