Intimacy: Considerate boyfriend - FML

Considerate boyfriend

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 07:17 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 851

You deserved it 15 858

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 715

You deserved it 35 131

By Anonymous - 07/12/2011 17:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 886

You deserved it 20 681

Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 10:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 274

You deserved it 7 596

By BarbieKen - 14/06/2009 04:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 142

You deserved it 63 340

Communication

By GoneLimp - 07/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Havelock

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 952

You deserved it 1 648

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 126

You deserved it 4 861

Compromising situation

By anonymous - 16/07/2011 13:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper, we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset, so I politely asked where the bathroom was so I could "powder my nose;" After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 698

You deserved it 4 963

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 438

You deserved it 4 060

By Anonymous - 08/09/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend sent me some nudes while I was at work, so I went into the bathroom to rub one out. When I was done, I realized there was no paper towels… or toilet paper… or soap. I'm really sticky right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 5 853

By jester777 - 22/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 550

You deserved it 49 427

Next

Top comments

Frankenstein611 10

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:03

Thats just nasty!

life_sucks225 13

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:02

i hope it was worth it

Comments

infectedsense 15

Wednesday 7 August 2013 23:33

My ex once told me he'd swallowed a pube before in a similar situation, I was like dude, you do not have to do that!! I do find that when it's all shaved down there, paper tends to stick. I guess the moral is that God does not want us to perform *********** :(

JoseIsAdork 31

Monday 26 August 2013 8:58

I seriously gagged when I read this, op ×_×, god that's gross as hell

justinguy 4

Sunday 29 September 2013 23:42

oh dear Jesus Christ.....

MymB612 14

Monday 14 October 2013 13:51

Well, aren't you a persistent lover. Good for her. You, though, FYL

Argretto 5

Sunday 22 December 2013 23:45

NOPE.

furry_jessaline 3

Sunday 5 January 2014 5:01

74- we all did...

PizzaDeliveryGrl 19

Monday 24 February 2014 1:00

HOLY shit, don't you have limits?!

fivehuskies 6

Saturday 14 June 2014 16:20

Took me a while to figure this out. I'd rather spoil that shit. Omfg.

MissLily_fml 4

Saturday 11 October 2014 7:01

True love lol...but yikes :S

mjg1416 10

Monday 29 December 2014 9:07

Bro.....you're the real MVP

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The Top

Today, this hot girl sent me a friend request. I accepted it and began to chat her up. She asked me if I was single. I told her I was, and proceeded to arrange a date for some drinks. Moments later, my wife sends me a screenshot of my conversation with the girl, with the caption, “Pack your shit and get the fuck out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 1 857

Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 090

You deserved it 165

The Top

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 831

You deserved it 2 430

Today, I told my friends that I got a therapist this past week. Every single one of them told me to quit seeing the therapist, and to just talk to them and do more drugs to feel more numb. I don't think that's the right thing to do, and they're actually arguing with me over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 129

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 546

You deserved it 2 820

Today, my mom walked out on me, abandoning her 16-year-old and taking $100 and a dog, all because I refused to wear women's panties. I would have been perfectly fine wearing them if I weren't a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 364

You deserved it 265

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 213

You deserved it 13 179

Today, I went to sit on a desk chair, which promptly rolled out from under me. This made me fall on my own foot, literally shattering two bones. I just bought a 9-month gym membership and can't use it because I wanted to sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 139

You deserved it 421