Intimacy: Considerate boyfriend

Considerate boyfriend

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 07:17 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 851

You deserved it 15 858

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 715

You deserved it 35 131

By Anonymous - 07/12/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 886

You deserved it 20 681

Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 10:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 273

You deserved it 7 596

By BarbieKen - 14/06/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 142

You deserved it 63 340

Communication

By GoneLimp - 07/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Havelock

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 952

You deserved it 1 648

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 126

You deserved it 4 861

Compromising situation

By anonymous - 16/07/2011 13:18 - Canada

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper, we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset, so I politely asked where the bathroom was so I could "powder my nose;" After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 698

You deserved it 4 963

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 438

You deserved it 4 060

By Anonymous - 08/09/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend sent me some nudes while I was at work, so I went into the bathroom to rub one out. When I was done, I realized there was no paper towels… or toilet paper… or soap. I'm really sticky right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 5 853

By jester777 - 22/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 550

You deserved it 49 425

Frankenstein611 10

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:03

Thats just nasty!

life_sucks225 13

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:02

i hope it was worth it

Comments

limitedition 25

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:38

You are a good boyfriend. Maybe next time have some fun in the shower together & then do your thing

bellabythesea 3

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:38

1) don't let her know you did that. 2) maybe suggest showering when things are getting a little "hot" 3) seriously... don't ever tell her. EVER.

Llama_Face89 33

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:45

You're a stronger man than I...same thing happened to me once... I just said **** that shit...

cl4ptp 18

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:47

Grim.

coredumpfml 4

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:47

Holy christ, I'm going to puke my brains out.

iperson 11

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:53

Ewww

pacmanman 15

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:53

Sometimes you have to take one for your small soldiers....hope it was worth it!

crudeandrudeguy 29

Wednesday 29 May 2013 20:03

FUUUUUUCK THAT. No way. Uh uh. Go rub one out man....

DazedSiren 5

Wednesday 29 May 2013 20:08

Gross.

BinxMarBear 5

Wednesday 29 May 2013 20:10

Ew, dude. You should have wiped it away and made her think you were coming up with some new fancy move..

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The Top

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 716

You deserved it 32 189

Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 733

You deserved it 6 765

The Top

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 759

You deserved it 146

Today, I'm the only one at work in a small office. The water tank sprung a leak. Guess who had to call the boss and get instructions via cell phone to turn it off? I can't even leave the office to change my soaked clothes, because I need to wait for an important phone call. Seven hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 137

You deserved it 2 470

Today, I went running for the first time in a few months. I had what I thought was an asthma attack. When I got home, I realized that it was not asthma, but instead I have gained so much weight that my running bra restricted my breathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 633

You deserved it 31 328

Today, I broke my collarbone in a rugby tournament. I was forced to sit through five more hours of games because the coach wouldn't take me to the hospital until the tournament was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 821

You deserved it 3 626

Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 804

Today, I went on a first date with a guy that included dinner, pool and pretty good conversation. Around Midnight he yawned and said the beer was making him sleepy, so he took me home. I wasn't tired so I changed and went out with some friends... and saw him on the dance floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 846

You deserved it 6 446