Intimacy: Considerate boyfriend - FML

Considerate boyfriend

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 07:17 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 851

You deserved it 15 858

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 715

You deserved it 35 131

By Anonymous - 07/12/2011 17:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 886

You deserved it 20 681

Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 10:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 273

You deserved it 7 596

By BarbieKen - 14/06/2009 04:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 142

You deserved it 63 340

Communication

By GoneLimp - 07/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Havelock

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 952

You deserved it 1 648

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 126

You deserved it 4 861

Compromising situation

By anonymous - 16/07/2011 13:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper, we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset, so I politely asked where the bathroom was so I could "powder my nose;" After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 698

You deserved it 4 963

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 438

You deserved it 4 060

By Anonymous - 08/09/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend sent me some nudes while I was at work, so I went into the bathroom to rub one out. When I was done, I realized there was no paper towels… or toilet paper… or soap. I'm really sticky right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 5 853

By jester777 - 22/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 550

You deserved it 49 425

Next

Top comments

Frankenstein611 10

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:03

Thats just nasty!

life_sucks225 13

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:02

i hope it was worth it

Comments

joeymo304 9

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:49

I know your pain

Cristian89 29

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:51

Nasty! Not worth it

Jemm_fml 29

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:52

No.. Nooooo ! D: I would so stop. Why did you continue, glargh!

rassler4life 9

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:54

Ok What the ****

perdix 29

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:56

Real men spit! They don't swallow!

edmondk85 4

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:56

Should have used Charmin...

FlyingPie 17

Wednesday 29 May 2013 18:01

I read this one several times and still don't understand it.. ???

rokolodo 10

Wednesday 29 May 2013 18:08

***********! Pie in the sky.

mariaowl 1

Wednesday 29 May 2013 18:01

I've been in a situation like that before (as a girl). Although I'd honestly just washed myself with a hand shower beforehand and the toilet paper had come from drying myself after the wash. So it may not be as bad as it sounds. My boyfriend certainly wasn't subtle when he noticed it anyhow. :/

alliegraywords 13

Wednesday 29 May 2013 18:02

This is why in Italy we have bidets.

rokolodo 10

Wednesday 29 May 2013 18:02

Ohhhh! Ummmm, yak.

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The Top

Today, after the seventh morning in a row where my son threw a fit because he wanted to wear summer clothes, I put him in shorts and a tank top and put him outside. He got the message and changed into long sleeves and pants. Ten minutes later, cops pull up. My nosy neighbor called CPS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 87

Today, I caught my boyfriend with a prostitute. The prostitute actually got mad at me for yelling at him, because the few times he’s hired her, all he asked for was talking and cuddling, never sex. Her advice was I need to step up my emotional intimacy, because he’s clearly not getting it from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 3 357

The Top

Today, after 4 days of using anti-itch cream for what pharmacists and nurses have called “an allergic reaction”, I was diagnosed with shingles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 665

You deserved it 120

Today, while on a first date, we ran into a street performer dressed as a clown. I have a phobia of clowns, so I froze in place for a solid 30 seconds before moving away as fast as I could. She spent the rest of the date looking at me oddly, then afterwards said we weren’t going to work out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 206

Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with, "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 049

You deserved it 6 089

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 823

You deserved it 3 608

Today, I saw yet another dear friend from uni get married, living the good life in their new home. Here am I in my 30s, with no love life, and feeling like that's never going to be for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 266

Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 695

You deserved it 1 751