Sex, Cute and Intimacy: Cute but annoying

Cute but annoying

By Anonymous - 17/12/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 404

You deserved it 14 011

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Same thing different taste

By KayleeXLoVe21 - 03/11/2011 23:48 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 927

You deserved it 9 740

TMI

By SoggyPancakes - 11/03/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 822

You deserved it 71 900

By Anonymous - 02/08/2019 02:00

Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 947

You deserved it 297

Vibe check

By Hopelesslover - 04/08/2009 21:03 - Malta

Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 823

You deserved it 17 658

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 405

You deserved it 5 206

By Anonymous - 15/09/2017 06:00

Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period had come early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 598

You deserved it 2 149

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 082

You deserved it 51 006

By StretchNuts - 11/03/2010 12:50 - United States

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 468

You deserved it 4 826

Don't you want me baby?

By Ugh - 05/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 109

Coming!

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 570

flirtyfaery 7

Friday 17 December 2010 22:31

at least she has a sense of humour

Doortje 29

Friday 17 December 2010 22:37

This is the story you'll later tell your grandchildr-- wait, you have to actually have sex in order to ever have grandchildren.

Comments

fish1234 0

Sunday 19 December 2010 16:15

How the *** is installing a clapper romantic? Dipshit

melissa_cheslik 3

Sunday 19 December 2010 18:21

how on earth is a clapper romantic? i would've laughed too

mritty 2

Monday 20 December 2010 1:51

How, exactly, is a "installing a clapper" romantic? You're lucky she didn't laugh at you long *before* the love-making started. The clapper is for infirm and elderly people who can't reach the light switch. You're lucky she didn't belt you for calling her an old hag.

EvilDave 13

Tuesday 21 December 2010 17:04

You assume the couple in question is not old enough to want a clapper.

ulicksam 0

Monday 20 December 2010 2:06

Who the hell does that on their honeymoon and how is it remotely romantic? YDI.

stephanyk2 7

Monday 20 December 2010 8:25

haha that's funny :) at least you'll have that funny memory.

rofl_mcdonald 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 5:12

add some beats and thrust to the beat of the music uns uns uns uns uns uns uns uns uns

banacafalata 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 14:41

hahahaha!! that's bloody hilarious!

stryfe10 2

Tuesday 21 December 2010 15:06

try having a clapper in the bedroom when your girl likes to be spanked

EvilDave 13

Tuesday 21 December 2010 17:03

I don't understand why you two gave up and went to sleep. Sounds like a fun situation, something that could make sex and the honeymoon very memorable. YDI for not having a sense of humor and continuing on.

convictconnie 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 10:18

at least it didnt end up in a fight ur married now u guys can **** all the time now at least u guys had a good laugh plus it's one night u guys won't forget