Sex, Pranks, Awkward, Dad jokes and Intimacy: Dad jokes! - FML

Dad jokes!

By Chels - 11/05/2011 05:17 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 516

You deserved it 5 325

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Same thing different taste

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Spicy

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 813

You deserved it 4 327

Scolded

By oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 054

You deserved it 5 469

By iris - 18/05/2012 23:01 - Portugal - Lisbon

Spicy

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 247

You deserved it 36 265

Love and threats

By soontobedumped - 15/01/2012 19:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 887

You deserved it 4 880

By Anonymous - 12/09/2010 16:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 052

You deserved it 10 317

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 417

You deserved it 23 273

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 543

You deserved it 48 717

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 17:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 870

You deserved it 5 563

By hugme101 - 20/12/2010 00:20 - Canada

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 098

You deserved it 9 707

By cumhole - 10/10/2012 02:32 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 554

You deserved it 69 900

Next

Top comments

coolkid_matt 11

Wednesday 11 May 2011 12:09

hahaha :D awkward

Badtz_maru_fml 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 12:10

-Insert awkward silence-

Comments

LazarusLooking 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 16:05

Oh my!!! lol I'm sorry, I find it kinda funny! Is this Chalsey C?

AliciaicilA 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 16:44

thats friggen creepy and gross..... DX fyl op!

youFMLme17 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 17:23

oh wow that must of suck really hard

BluPenguin 3

Thursday 12 May 2011 19:05

Hi, I'm Chris Hansen with "to catch a predator", why don't you have a seat over here......

mikagesouji 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 20:51

Your dad is awesome. :D

julien672 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 22:11

LMFAO THATS AMAZING!!!!

IHateBoyA 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 22:44

Umm...

iPreCize 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 23:15

having sex with your dad eww incest from he'll.

richa78595 0

Friday 13 May 2011 3:46

rofl that's hilarious XDDD

apegirl907 0

Friday 13 May 2011 11:35

haha that's so embarrassing and awkward!

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The Top

Today, my son is so naive that he didn’t notice that a company he interviewed for basically used him as free labour during a 3 day “skills assessment period”, after which he didn’t even get the job. Even after I explained to him they'd used him for 3 days free grunt work, he still didn’t understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 117

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

The Top

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 792

You deserved it 2 975

Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 142

You deserved it 2 967

Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 725

You deserved it 778

Today, I woke up from putting my child to bed. Drowsy, I stumbled down to the kitchen to make a mug cookie. I read a recipe on my phone, and put a knob of butter in a cup to melt in the microwave. I put my phone in the microwave and turned it on for 30 seconds, and didn't realize until I smelt burning plastic.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 832

You deserved it 917

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 743

You deserved it 2 458

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 093

You deserved it 21 617