Health, Food and Miscellaneous: Damn

Damn

By zzzgrady - 27/10/2010 02:46 - United States

Today, after having the worst night of my life, my boss chewing me out and acid reflux all morning, I went to the snack machine at work to get the only thing that makes me happy, Reese's PB cups. I had just enough money to buy the very last one in the machine, and it got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 159

You deserved it 4 147

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 20:56 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 948

You deserved it 8 594

By f*ck - 06/03/2015 17:41 - Australia - Reynella

Today, I saw my boss heading my way at work. He has a "no food in the office" policy, so I quickly scarfed down my Pop-Tart. I ended up choking on it so hard that I threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 758

You deserved it 19 740

By itsthebestdayoftheyear - 22/12/2015 12:30 - Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, after 3 years of hard work, very little vacation and no raises, our boss got us a crappy box of drug store cookies as an employee appreciation gift. Which he ended up eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 667

You deserved it 1 536

By aquagoddess - 03/07/2018 19:00

Today, I used the last of my money to buy a bag of vending machine chips for dinner. It got stuck. A passerby saw and generously offered to buy another bag of the same chips to dislodge it. Gratefully, I accepted his offer. It stayed stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 750

You deserved it 276

By Z'ev - 05/04/2013 16:34 - United States - New York

Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 483

You deserved it 10 043

Man vs. Machine

By Anonymous - 08/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 92

By Wormy - 11/05/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 216

You deserved it 30 435

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 11:17 - United States

Today, I forgot to bring my lunch to work. I got so hungry, I resorted to eating antacid tablets from the medicine cabinet for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 242

You deserved it 6 332

Suspicious

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 05:43 - United States

Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 704

You deserved it 3 886

Hangry

By Broke as hell - 07/04/2020 23:00

Today, after being robbed last week, I had no money to go to the store for food. Instead, my dinner consisted of two Tums chewables in tropical fruit flavors. After not eating all day, I thought they actually tasted pretty good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 033

You deserved it 165

cheapluxury 4

Wednesday 27 October 2010 9:27

Rage against the machine??

luis01 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 9:18

I hate when that happens

Comments

Milly143 3

Thursday 28 October 2010 1:03

"the only thing that makes me happy". a little dramatic, aren't we?

califormula 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 3:49

peanut butter cups are horrible for acid reflux! moron

goalie001 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 5:54

sounds like a fatass "food makes me happy yum yum yum"

amglenn 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 18:23

If you have acid reflux, reese's only make it way worse! So apparently it wasn't meant for you to have it!

CokeDicer 1

Friday 29 October 2010 6:57

Sorry u had a bad night. But seriously, if that was the worst night of your life, then you have had a rather good life my friend.

mpphish 0

Friday 29 October 2010 20:55

if that's the worse night of your life, you should be thankful

alexvegaboy 0

Friday 19 November 2010 8:42

do a bruce lee moment and kick it .

starfish7 18

Saturday 20 November 2010 9:34

should have gone for a salad...

MeatSucks777 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 5:25

reeses PB cups is the best chocolate ever created!!

ArielTheMermaid 17

Sunday 1 May 2011 16:24

for once I can see how this is an FML *nods approvingly* Reeses ftw

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The Top

Today, I was supposed to hear from my supervisor about whether or not my company was going to be letting me go. I've been on continual probation for the last 6 months, waiting to hear when they'll decide. She'd said last Friday that I'd definitely hear from her today. It's now 5:30 p.m. She's gone home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 490

You deserved it 622

Today, after much measuring with a tape measure, comparing with my sisters and even asking my husband for his opinion, I'm forced to admit that without a bra on, my boobs now sag so much my nipples hang down to the level of my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 125

Today, some friends got upset with me as I wouldn't leave work early and cycle 12 miles to meet them to fix their punctures because they had no spare tubes or repair kits. The same friends that always mock me for being so prepared on bike rides. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 919

You deserved it 1 734

Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and see if I was OK was my World of Warcraft guild leader after I didn't show up to raid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 531

You deserved it 1 445

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 616

You deserved it 18 376

Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Apparently she stood on top of a table and screamed, “I HAVE SYPHILIS” at the top of her lungs. She’s in kindergarten. Where in the world did she even hear that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 144