Pranks and Intimacy: Deep sleep

Deep sleep

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 19:28 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 862

You deserved it 9 860

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Same thing different taste

By N O - 27/05/2014 18:47 - Canada - Granton

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 387

You deserved it 6 967

By Anonymous - 29/03/2011 23:58 - Canada

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 943

You deserved it 3 987

By bTOhno - 13/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 058

You deserved it 4 732

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 22:55 - United States - Somerset

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 64 580

By Jared - 25/02/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 015

You deserved it 30 873

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 016

You deserved it 7 503

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 285

You deserved it 29 243

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 21:24 - Portugal - Alg

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 807

You deserved it 6 736

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 272

You deserved it 27 588

Throbbing

By 2in longer - 01/11/2016 12:57 - United States - Coldwater

Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 978

You deserved it 1 172

daliagrande 17

Monday 5 August 2013 5:32

Your girlfriend is a bloody genius.

mete_orito 34

Monday 5 August 2013 5:31

She is pure evil!!! Haha. I hope you won't get any psychological issues from this OP. ;-)

Comments

neonstarr 15

Monday 5 August 2013 5:49

Link?

CoffeeChickBlows 13

Monday 5 August 2013 5:52

Dump her. By which I mean take a ****-shaped dump on her chest and wait for the smell to wake her up. Bonus points if you shoot it in high framerate so you can make a really cool slow-motion version afterward.

Obey_StudBoii 23

Monday 5 August 2013 9:34

You've got some head issues..

GAOStarr 15

Monday 5 August 2013 5:52

Wow. She must really want you to break up with her.

griffy14 9

Monday 5 August 2013 8:28

I agree. That's grounds for a break up.

CoDandBlowjobs 8

Saturday 5 October 2013 23:01

Seems like you have fun and humorous relationships.

superman3212 8

Monday 5 August 2013 5:53

what a bitch I'd slap her

Ab5traktion_83 9

Monday 5 August 2013 6:00

That's what I was about to say.

kelseythompson 27

Monday 5 August 2013 6:02

Your junk is in her hand, slap her and she'll do you worse..

jwebster 8

Monday 5 August 2013 6:17

Hm. Better dump her too. Cause if you don't, she will bite hard the next time she goes down on you. You do NOT respond to a prank with violence.

ShakeDisPlace 10

Monday 5 August 2013 5:53

sounds like you had your period OP :D

Poetaster 10

Monday 5 August 2013 5:59

Time for an alien birth...

Bloink 25

Monday 5 August 2013 6:04

I've got to try this on my boyfriend... >:D

ThatsGoodCheese 3

Monday 5 August 2013 6:05

OMG DUDE! Like, it's was for funzies, like totes LOL! What? why are you crying? /sarcasm I almost feel bad for you, except she's not an Ex. There are any number of man-boys who find pulling this sort of terror-prank the epitome of funny - you should introduce them and run far far away from them both.