Pranks and Intimacy: Deep sleep

Deep sleep

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 19:28 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 870

You deserved it 9 860

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Same thing different taste

By N O - 27/05/2014 18:47 - Canada - Granton

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 389

You deserved it 6 967

By Anonymous - 29/03/2011 23:58 - Canada

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 949

You deserved it 3 989

By bTOhno - 13/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 063

You deserved it 4 732

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 22:55 - United States - Somerset

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 661

You deserved it 64 593

By Jared - 25/02/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 016

You deserved it 30 880

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 029

You deserved it 7 508

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 294

You deserved it 29 247

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 21:24 - Portugal - Alg

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 816

You deserved it 6 737

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 278

You deserved it 27 596

Throbbing

By 2in longer - 01/11/2016 12:57 - United States - Coldwater

Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 982

You deserved it 1 173

daliagrande 17

Monday 5 August 2013 5:32

Your girlfriend is a bloody genius.

mete_orito 34

Monday 5 August 2013 5:31

She is pure evil!!! Haha. I hope you won't get any psychological issues from this OP. ;-)

Comments

chosha_fml 26

Monday 5 August 2013 5:35

FFS, what is wrong with her? That isn't funny at all.

kee_breezy32 34

Monday 5 August 2013 5:35

genius prank!

Colorguardlife_t 14

Monday 5 August 2013 5:37

At least she has a great sense of humor!

perdix 29

Monday 5 August 2013 5:37

That was probably just a dress rehearsal for the Amateur Vasectomy Challenge sweeping YouTube after everyone became bored with eating cinnamon.

Emelsh16 11

Monday 5 August 2013 5:41

I thought it was an Amateur Liposuction Challenge! Well, pretty...uh...interesting, nonetheless. *shivers*

iluvpeanutbutter 22

Monday 5 August 2013 5:39

Your reaction is actually pretty funny- screaming and crying? Did you not notice the lack of pain that would indicate injury?

Lichinamo 33

Monday 5 August 2013 6:14

Not only were they in a panic for waking up to find their penis covered in blood, but it could have been possible they assumed it was so painful that it was numb with pain. OP: Break up with her, NOW. Anyone who scares you by making you think you're badly injured is NOT safe to be with: While trying to make it look like you're hurt, they could really hurt you.

lyvingvamp 15

Monday 5 August 2013 6:50

Calm down. It was just a joke and nobody got hurt. Freaked out, maybe. But not hurt.

iluvpeanutbutter 22

Monday 5 August 2013 11:34

45- I would probably get a huge fright if it was me, and probably gasp and jump out of bed, but would quickly check my 'injury' to figure out what to do. If he actually was injured, how far would screaming and crying get him? That's pretty damn dramatic.