Pranks and Intimacy: Deep sleep

Deep sleep

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 19:28 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 862

You deserved it 9 860

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Same thing different taste

By N O - 27/05/2014 18:47 - Canada - Granton

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 387

You deserved it 6 967

By Anonymous - 29/03/2011 23:58 - Canada

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 943

You deserved it 3 987

By bTOhno - 13/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 058

You deserved it 4 732

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 22:55 - United States - Somerset

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 64 580

By Jared - 25/02/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 015

You deserved it 30 873

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 016

You deserved it 7 503

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 285

You deserved it 29 243

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 21:24 - Portugal - Alg

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 807

You deserved it 6 736

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 272

You deserved it 27 588

Throbbing

By 2in longer - 01/11/2016 12:57 - United States - Coldwater

Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 978

You deserved it 1 172

daliagrande 17

Monday 5 August 2013 5:32

Your girlfriend is a bloody genius.

mete_orito 34

Monday 5 August 2013 5:31

She is pure evil!!! Haha. I hope you won't get any psychological issues from this OP. ;-)

Comments

simplykolesh 17

Monday 5 August 2013 6:09

And where can we find said recording?

DK_91 9

Monday 5 August 2013 6:15

that's insane!! but an awesome prank!

jwebster 8

Monday 5 August 2013 6:15

O.M.G. I am soooo doing this to my husband!

Monieee_13 12

Monday 5 August 2013 6:15

Nobody knows how hard I laughed. This had me rollin

imlifeless2 25

Monday 5 August 2013 6:19

That's a Dick move. (get it?)

sematariux 7

Monday 5 August 2013 6:26

Your girlfriend sounds like a bit of a bitch OP.

Wizzlbang 10

Monday 5 August 2013 6:30

Your girlfriend sounds fun as hell.

goth_pixie 15

Monday 5 August 2013 6:40

To your gf: hello, satan

QU33NOFAWKWARD 16

Monday 5 August 2013 6:48

Creepy ass girlfriend

Axel5238 29

Monday 5 August 2013 7:08

I feel bad for the OP gotta really question someone who thinks it's funny. Im pretty sure most guys would a few guys would have a similar reaction to this. I love good prank, but thinking you've been seriously maimed is funny? Tell her you got a call and her pet died if she has one for revenge and say you are just kidding when she cries.