Intimacy: Dodgy

Dodgy

By jsw029 - 26/02/2009 04:51 - United States

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 138

You deserved it 20 919

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Same thing different taste

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 446

You deserved it 38 897

By whereismyprince? - 18/12/2013 17:01 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 612

You deserved it 7 447

No. Just… No.

By none - 22/08/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 387

You deserved it 8 829

Caught

By Anonanon - 12/07/2011 17:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 915

You deserved it 13 838

By izoliv - 22/11/2008 08:17 - France

Today, after a tremendously hot night with a guy I met the night before, I ask him his phone number. To which he replied: "What for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 737

You deserved it 10 847

By ThankYou! - 22/12/2015 05:50 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to meet a guy that i had already started to be involved with at a bar. We laughed, kissed and had a great time, until he admitted he was just doing all of this to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. Guess who was waiting for me outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 840

You deserved it 1 984

Booze confused

By piliseep - 07/06/2017 16:00

Today, I realized that I accidentally said my phone number wrong when I was giving it to a really smart, cute guy with all the same interests as me that I met at a bar last night. I'd had a few drinks and had gotten the middle three digits mixed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 088

You deserved it 1 670

By milkybear - 15/06/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 862

You deserved it 15 888

By so_screwed - 25/09/2013 06:59 - United States - Salinas

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 505

You deserved it 13 889

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 026

You deserved it 12 791

Vincere_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 12:17

That guy's pathetic... unbelievable

gabby1995pena 4

Saturday 12 November 2011 23:04

She probably got pregnant.

Comments

ben_bulluss 0

Friday 27 February 2009 2:58

im so horny at the moment awesome story

Dayen 0

Friday 27 February 2009 5:28

your fault for not using protecting your emotions and your body but really, did you want a guy who comes in 30 seconds?

sweetjosephine 0

Friday 27 February 2009 5:30

@24&25 you guys are amazing. Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking. @72- What do you mean people who take guys home desrve to be raped? We're not obligated to have sex with you. If we invite you home for coffee, then we're obligated to have coffee, and nothing more. women aren't just some breed who are used for *******. There is no obligation. And even if one does take someone home, and then for some reason realizes they don't want to- They shouldn't have to. It's sick to think that you assume that women are obligated to have sex with a man, whether they want to or not. We don't HAVE to do anything, you ******* arrogant, chauvenistic asshole. This was hilarious. That was really clever of him.

jimmyboo 0

Friday 27 February 2009 5:38

#75 I refer you to #66. Also, the word "chauvenistic" is so overused it's hard to take anyone seriously who says it. also, i refer you to the Urban Dictionary definition of a "cocktease". in conclusion, iron my shirt and make me a sandwich. unless you can think of another way you want to make me happy. ;-)

holly_fly 34

Monday 19 October 2015 18:08

I hope your comment was made to insult people and prove that you are a complete asshole. Because it doesn't do anything else, and If it's sarcasm... I think you need to work on that.

mikelc 0

Friday 27 February 2009 6:58

To come up with a line like that, he's been in that situation before. To cum that quickly, you must be hot. Can i have your number?

Jimmy_fml 0

Friday 27 February 2009 7:16

lookout i have a feeling #78 is mr quickleave's bff

bigrederin 0

Friday 27 February 2009 19:05

Wow. You're a ***** and you totally had it coming.

That_Guy 4

Saturday 28 February 2009 6:46

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha