Miscellaneous: Funny to him

Funny to him

By Binkplugged - 05/07/2016 18:01

Today, I woke up to my husband chuckling. When I asked him what was so funny. He told me that during the night I attempted to shove one of the kids' pacifiers in his mouth. I don't remember this, at all. He thinks it's hysterical. I'm not sure what to think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 957

You deserved it 1 869

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Same thing different taste

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 974

You deserved it 291

Jerk

By Innocence - 13/02/2015 17:33 - United States - Amelia

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 125

You deserved it 3 544

By Anonymous - 02/11/2013 17:34 - United States - Rowland Heights

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 638

You deserved it 5 674

Fight Club for Dummies

By Jeff - 23/05/2019 22:21

Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 006

You deserved it 277

By Anonymous - 29/08/2019 15:00 - United States - Russellville

Today, I asked my husband for help with a household chore. His response was to fake snore and pretend to be asleep. Later, our toddler pulled the exact same BS when I asked him to pick up his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 267

By TotallyDeservedIt - 19/05/2016 17:19 - United States - Midlothian

Today, my plan to prank my husband backfired when I forgot about the "pop-its" I left under the toilet seat and set them off. It not only scared the shit out of me, it also woke up my 2 month-old and my grumpy husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 072

You deserved it 12 936

Night terrors

By Tanisha Skye Regeling - 11/06/2020 23:02

Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 180

By sleepylillion - 25/04/2016 05:07 - United States - Eleele

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 236

You deserved it 1 537

Wake up call

By das_shizzle - 05/05/2020 23:00

Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 338

You deserved it 273

By pistonchamp159 - 28/08/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 715

You deserved it 9 929

ScratchCatPower 32

Sunday 21 August 2016 15:15

Pacifiers for everyone! Tonight maybe you'll unconsciously mutter "Here comes the airplane!" and try to feed your husband with an empty hand.

rorex 26

Sunday 21 August 2016 15:01

I don't get why this is an fml.

Comments

janfleury 19

Sunday 21 August 2016 18:21

it's pretty funny.

CyberPsycho 21

Sunday 21 August 2016 18:50

You were just dreaming of taking care of your baby xD Don't let it get to you, OP. People act out their dreams in their sleep all the time.

fishinpink 20

Monday 22 August 2016 6:52

yeah like when I'm dreaming I'm right on the edge and wake-up mid-O... so I just finish up and return to slumber

howbout_thisone 13

Sunday 21 August 2016 18:58

This is hysterical. I would've laughed right along with him.

bobsanction 18

Sunday 21 August 2016 19:03

Sounds pretty funny to me.

_Desiderata_ 9

Sunday 21 August 2016 19:14

Maybe subconsciously you want revenge for all those times he tried to stick HIS thing in your mouth...

Procryon 10

Sunday 21 August 2016 19:26

"Honey, what are you doing awake in the middle of the night?" *Incoherent mumbles while shoving the pacifier in the baby's mouth* "What are you doing to the baby?" "YOU GON LEARN TODAY, WHO'S THE BOSS OF THE HOUSE!" *Furiously shoving the pacifier now* "Oh my this is hilarious, gotta film it to put it on AFV!"

icefishbaby 14

Sunday 21 August 2016 21:50

I think most of us assumed that "his" was referring to the husband's mouth, not the child's. But this is an amusing interpretation. Now that I look back, I realize that the pronoun is ambiguous enough that you really can read it either way.

_Desiderata_ 9

Sunday 21 August 2016 22:27

24, you're right about the pronoun being ambiguous, but based on the context OP should be referring to her husband's mouth. Besides, had she been aggressively shoving the pacifier in her baby's mouth, I'm sure the baby would have cried and woken her up. Father probably would not find a crying baby amusing either.