Health: Gassy in 4/4

Gassy in 4/4

By nomwar - 17/06/2013 13:55 - United States

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy, so I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know, the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off, all eyes turned to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 123

You deserved it 14 891

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Same thing different taste

By beriles - 15/01/2010 05:25 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 159

You deserved it 8 443

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 055

You deserved it 7 199

By Concert Flatulent - 10/07/2012 04:44 - United States - Marshall

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 992

You deserved it 29 179

By Ad-s - 14/01/2009 05:01 - France

Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 433

You deserved it 22 875

By Smirky - 13/02/2017 02:30 - India - Bangalore

Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 642

You deserved it 1 720

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 306

You deserved it 2 800

By Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 823

You deserved it 42 656

Oh no…

By yayibs - 04/12/2015 03:21 - United States - Williamstown

Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 423

You deserved it 4 496

By embarassed - 21/04/2011 03:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 348

You deserved it 12 941

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 799

You deserved it 11 969

xblaine 17

Monday 17 June 2013 19:07

Trumpet solo!

LissaMccracken 23

Monday 17 June 2013 19:05

Woah. Did they all applaud you? ;)

Comments

Enslaved 36

Monday 17 June 2013 19:44

"When we up in the club- All eyes on us" Did that gas make you "wanna scream and shout and let it all out"? No worries-- Will I Am had you in mind when he wrote this song. :P

ElatedEarthling 15

Monday 17 June 2013 20:17

What about Eminem? "Oops my CD just skipped, and everyone just heard you let one rip..."

awilso13 8

Monday 17 June 2013 19:45

Instant fav lol.

loserman67 35

Monday 17 June 2013 19:47

I hope you were in tune at least...

LookAttMyyLifee 12

Monday 17 June 2013 19:52

*point to the guy next to you* wasn't me.

Sopho_o 15

Monday 17 June 2013 19:53

Can people start to learn that farting in public never ends well?!

WhiteCrimson 23

Monday 17 June 2013 19:53

Hahahahahahahahahaha atleast you got alot of peoples attention at once. Quicker than most people can get one persons attention. Standing ovation for you my man.