Health: Gassy in 4/4

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Gassy in 4/4

By nomwar - 17/06/2013 13:55 - United States

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy, so I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know, the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off, all eyes turned to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 130

You deserved it 14 902

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Same thing different taste

By beriles - 15/01/2010 05:25 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 166

You deserved it 8 446

Shyness alert

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 072

You deserved it 7 206

By Concert Flatulent - 10/07/2012 04:44 - United States - Marshall

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 995

You deserved it 29 188

I got heels, they’re made of plywood

By Morrissey - 06/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party in a packed karaoke bar/restaurant and I drunkenly agreed to sing. I picked a song I thought I knew by heart, only to realize halfway through that the lyrics on the screen were not at all what I thought they were. My brain went for a smoke break or something, and I turned into a rambling mess. The crowd actually booed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 395

By Ad-s - 14/01/2009 05:01 - France

Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 437

You deserved it 22 885

By Smirky - 13/02/2017 02:30 - India - Bangalore

Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 656

You deserved it 1 729

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 312

You deserved it 2 804

By Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 825

You deserved it 42 666

Oh no…

By yayibs - 04/12/2015 03:21 - United States - Williamstown

Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 435

You deserved it 4 499

By embarassed - 21/04/2011 03:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 354

You deserved it 12 951

xblaine 17

Monday 17 June 2013 19:07

Trumpet solo!

LissaMccracken 23

Monday 17 June 2013 19:05

Woah. Did they all applaud you? ;)

Comments

Jemm_fml 29

Monday 17 June 2013 20:26

Fantastic solo!

applebramble 22

Monday 17 June 2013 20:33

Why didn't you just go to the restroom and let it out ? Stupid...

rhysfucker 24

Monday 17 June 2013 21:29

I don't think that's what Tupac had in mind..."All eyes on me..."

JessicaZado 11

Monday 17 June 2013 21:38

You could have tried covering up many other ways. Blame it on someone by you or just laugh about it. After all, everyone does it

Natsphotos1 9

Monday 17 June 2013 22:19

Hah well all I can say is don't play it the dangerous way

olpally 32

Monday 17 June 2013 22:51

Lol, that's hysterical!! Hopefully you got drunk and forgot about it later.

DirkNJ 2

Monday 17 June 2013 23:20

So much for the smooth release ! You must have nuked that one if all eyes were on you.

Andicc 19

Monday 17 June 2013 23:25

You should have excused yourself to the bathroom!!!

StzaCrack666 18

Monday 17 June 2013 23:35

sounds like a crappy bar

MayMars 4

Monday 17 June 2013 23:39

Haven't you read enough FMLs failing every single time trying to do that. Better go to the bathroom than taking the risk.

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