Dogs, Furniture and Animals: Get down!

Get down!

By miss Suzanne - 14/09/2010 21:46 - United States

Today, I got a brand new couch. My husband told me to keep our puppy off of it so we could keep it nice. She jumped on it, and as I picked her up to put her back on the floor, her claws dragged across it and ripped two of the cushions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 609

You deserved it 9 691

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Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By lukey101 - 27/03/2023 16:00

Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 183

Ninja!

By Anonymous - 13/09/2019 06:02 - Australia - Perth

Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 118

Bad doggo!

By Vicky - 22/09/2024 14:00 - Australia

Today, I came home to find that my dog had destroyed my couch. The worst part? He buried his plastic toy bone inside the wreckage, so he clearly thinks this is his new personal sandbox play pit spot. I'm afraid to get a new couch and put it in the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 139

Home invasion

By Brad - 05/07/2020 20:01

Today, I woke up and got out of my room to find two pit bulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 130

Where did you guys come from?

By Brad - 04/07/2021 21:59 - United States

Today, I woke up to find two pitbulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 90

This is mine now

By K……y - 06/09/2024 16:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my new couch was delivered. As the delivery guys left, I came back into the living room and noticed a bad but familiar smell. I turned the couch cushions over to discover that my cat had already claimed it as her personal litter tray. The return policy doesn’t cover "cat defilement." FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 437

Thanks, I hate it

By anonymous - 25/08/2016 02:33 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I got a brand new down comforter and duvet cover that I really liked. I'd finally managed to put everything the way I wanted it, and then my roommate's dog came and peed all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 885

You deserved it 899

By jonboy - 09/05/2009 20:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a new comfy duvet and pillow and was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got into bed and was followed by my dog, who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto my brand new bed spread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 787

You deserved it 5 273

This is why we can't have nice things.

By Anonymous - 29/09/2017 20:00

Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 205

You deserved it 446

Good boy

By akasoor - 11/02/2013 01:51 - Canada - Hythe

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 331

You deserved it 5 963

WiseGuy79 14

Wednesday 15 September 2010 1:33

It ripped through the fabric?? Is your pup a damn wolverine? lol

1337chick 4

Wednesday 15 September 2010 1:26

Turn the cushions over! :)

Comments

sourgirl101 28

Wednesday 15 September 2010 1:57

You explaining that was priceless! Thanks.

MC_Telepathy 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 1:58

she should serious kill the dog

missy327 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 1:59

maybe the dog didn't like the couches and decided to take matters into his own hands (paws)

bloobelly 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 2:05

that bitch!

rawrcookiemonste 5

Wednesday 15 September 2010 2:05

that actually really sux!..

Skroal_stomper 5

Wednesday 15 September 2010 2:14

last line should have been Having to tell your husband you effed up the brand new couch. priceless.

skittlebabe 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 2:15

it was like that when I came back!!

lovesteph3523 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 2:35

And that is why i don't like pets:)

lolasolis 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 2:40

that's when you flip the Cushin

like_its_ya_bday 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 2:43

o crap... that honestly sucks. fyl

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The Top

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 976

You deserved it 10 760

The Top

Today, as well as for the past week, my cat finds immeasurable joy in knocking eggs of the counter and staring at me as I clean the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 232

You deserved it 1 156

Today, I came home from a two-week overseas business trip. My wife was at work, but she came home for lunch. When she came in, she brushed right past me to hug and talk to her dog. When I mentioned it, she said, "But I haven't seen him all day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 635

You deserved it 4 331

Today, I told my husband’s ex that she is under no circumstances to contact him for any reason, and that if they must discuss the kids being dropped off, I am to be included as a group text. Her reply? A bunch of laughing emojis. Now he’s pissed at me for trying to protect our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 2 117

Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 633

You deserved it 28 760

Today, I went over to my mother-in-law's house to have dinner. I was excited she invited me, since I thought she didn't like me. I ended up hanging her Christmas lights in a snowstorm while they had s'mores by the fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 458

You deserved it 4 192

Today, my husband tried to use his "grief" over his grandmother's death to manipulate me into giving him a blowjob. In the toilets. During the funeral. With his family only a few yards down the hall crying their eyes out. What an asshole I married. An absolute asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 660

You deserved it 999

Same thing different taste

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