Awkward, Airplanes and Transportation: Get me out of here

Get me out of here

By IamHM - 19/07/2016 18:36 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 272

You deserved it 1 760

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Same thing different taste

Have a nice trip!

By whatsmccraken - 10/09/2009 12:37 - Taiwan

Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 800

You deserved it 2 308

By planes - 30/12/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 009

You deserved it 2 614

Get me out

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 18:36 - United States

Today, I'm on a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 467

You deserved it 3 245

By hatesmellyfeet - 20/01/2010 13:47 - United States

Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 664

You deserved it 5 072

Turbulence

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 21:30

Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 114

By pzy - 24/10/2016 15:46

Today, I'm in the middle seat on a flight to Dallas. The guy on the aisle is sleeping with his mouth open and I can smell his breath. I feel nauseous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 810

You deserved it 700

By crapgirl - 18/04/2009 23:11 - United States

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 122

You deserved it 3 763

First time?

By ajdown - 17/06/2011 20:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 928

You deserved it 2 523

By millzee - 17/01/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I spent 6 hours on an airplane next to an alcoholic Pink Floyd fanatic. I must've drifted off because when I took a trip to the bathroom I noticed that my pant leg that had been closest to the drunk man was soaking wet. I returned to my seat. He was on his side, facing me. I smelt the wet spot. Not beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 286

You deserved it 2 011

Unflattered

By lindsay - 28/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 156

klutzyduck1 24

Wednesday 20 July 2016 10:35

Why would anyone trade with you, really? I sympathize with you, having to sit there for so long. However, no one in their right mind would willing sacrifice themselves to it either.

doemetoch 28

Wednesday 20 July 2016 10:47

Can't the two friends at least sit together, without having you in between them? That's just rude, forcing a stranger to be in the middle of their jokes and conversations.

Comments

Casual_Cthulhu 12

Wednesday 20 July 2016 19:32

What does a laughing moose sound like?

Gazerman100 13

Thursday 21 July 2016 0:08

Clearly the only logical solution is to jump out of the plane

KaylaTackett 18

Thursday 21 July 2016 2:07

You'd think it would be common sense to shower before getting on such a long packed flight. And blaming you for his nasty ass farts?? I would have complained. Sorry OP. Hopefully he and his friend weren't like that for the whole flight.

nonamebranding 12

Thursday 21 July 2016 6:50

I wouldn't trade you either

Phats 10

Thursday 21 July 2016 9:27

I once traded my seat on an 11 hour flight, so two friends could sit together and quit talking across me. The new seat was narrower than my original aisle one and next to a guy who pretty much overflowed from his seat onto mine. I won't do that again.