Sex and Intimacy: Get on with it! - FML

Get on with it!

By QuickieGirl - 16/09/2011 11:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 400

You deserved it 6 128

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Same thing different taste

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 223

You deserved it 5 969

I'm gonna come

By Anonymous - 27/09/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 349

Too much of a good thing

By Anonymous - 21/05/2020 23:00

Today, my girlfriend complained that our quickies shouldn’t take 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 1 629

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Spicy

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 917

You deserved it 7 113

Routine

By youaresodumb - 27/09/2010 04:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 449

You deserved it 34 359

By mattttbob - 04/02/2012 10:16 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 517

You deserved it 36 027

Hang ups

By at least put on sexy underwear - 01/09/2023 20:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 124

Let down

By anonymous - 21/06/2009 02:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 231

You deserved it 17 261

Confusing

By so confused - 09/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 219

The rhythm method

By Anonymous - 05/07/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend has two speeds in bed: so slow that it’s just not exciting for me, or so hard and fast, I can’t physically keep up and it starts to hurt. We’ve discussed our different needs a bunch, but so we’ve had sex every night this week and I only orgasmed once, masturbating in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 263

Next

Top comments

banman12321 6

Friday 16 September 2011 18:44

Oh it's not?

chaoticxxxmess 3

Friday 16 September 2011 18:46

She probably thinks its painful or uncomfortable.

Comments

Jonman503 0

Friday 16 September 2011 21:56

Well then your goal should be to go as long as possible now

pulore 3

Friday 16 September 2011 21:56

Ohhh thats no good... I think alot of women from time to time feel that way but to "admit" it? Definately time for a talk.

mrstylerkennedy 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 1:47

*****

buckie123 3

Friday 16 September 2011 22:07

Sounds like my ex-wife!

trskln 1

Friday 16 September 2011 22:32

She'd probably think I'm really good then....

miZscrZee 0

Friday 16 September 2011 22:34

OMGSH. that just mean she's not ur TRUE LOVE..or ur not hers...does she even feel anything?

ReynshineCutting 10

Saturday 17 September 2011 15:42

You're an idiot. That doesn't mean she doesn't love him. She could have issues with it and in that case he's lucky to get any at all.

kzalone 0

Friday 16 September 2011 22:44

No- she needs good sex. Let's face it almost all guys only care about themselves. So that makes sex suck when it only lasts 4 minutes on his part anyway

asktherunes 4

Friday 16 September 2011 23:18

Pick up a romance novel & read it might just help you understand what women need. If it is not fun for her she will want it over as quick as possible

alinka_fml 0

Friday 16 September 2011 23:26

isn't it? lol

juicyfresh 7

Tuesday 4 September 2012 1:31

no.

kiffen 0

Friday 16 September 2011 23:59

Amen sista

efrank1987 0

Saturday 17 September 2011 0:26

and your complaining why?

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The Top

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 157

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 100

You deserved it 7 572

The Top

Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 975

You deserved it 10 187

Today, I was suntanning outside, when I had a bout of nausea. I rushed to the toilet, hoping at all costs to just dry-heave it away. When I lifted the lid, I was faced with two of the most rancid floaters I've ever seen, courtesy of my live-in gran. Well, my stomach's empty now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 762

You deserved it 2 062

Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 450

You deserved it 38 949

Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 831

You deserved it 3 642

Today, I took the kids I'm babysitting to the farm to feed the animals. They were a little scared of the llama, so I showed them how nice it was by feeding it a lot of bread. Then, as I was telling the farmer how I loved the llama and wanted to take it home, it spit grass and bread all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 90

Today, the guy I have a crush on invited me over to his house. I was nervous and excited, until I found out that he really just wanted me to clean it. Apparently, my friends from the university told him that was my job and he believed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 286

You deserved it 388