Love: Great date, thanks!

Great date, thanks!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 18:50 - United States

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 979

You deserved it 83 986

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Same thing different taste

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 598

By Whyme - 09/01/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 288

You deserved it 6 510

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 11:45 - United States

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 617

You deserved it 30 229

By Smirky - 13/02/2017 02:30 - India - Bangalore

Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 641

You deserved it 1 720

By thecarisfine - 14/03/2015 04:27 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 899

You deserved it 8 358

By tmac05 - 13/11/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 841

You deserved it 3 013

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 07:23 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 913

You deserved it 3 236

By Lo - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 796

You deserved it 4 709

Never trust your anus

By JacksFarts - 18/06/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in an elevator going up to the 32nd floor when I felt the urge to let out a fart. Feeling like it was either fart now or have appendicitis, and that it would be quiet, I thought no one would notice. It wasn't silent. It was loud and proud, and the cute girl next to me started laughing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 496

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 046

You deserved it 3 420

kika_fml 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:02

Lol, why didnt you just go to the bathroom?

ZeShadow 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:03

You dropped DA BOMB on her

Comments

grapeschicka4 0

Sunday 8 April 2012 5:10

Dude all you had to do was go to the bathroom!

Chixken 6

Wednesday 17 October 2012 2:08

That stinks 

missd420 16

Sunday 4 August 2013 13:52

If it were me I would have farted back.

alleybean123 7

Monday 12 August 2013 23:21

At least you were trying to be polite. Besides it is human nature to do that. If she can't handle the fact, she doesn't deserve you.

ToreyyyW 15

Tuesday 4 March 2014 22:10

Cause farting on a date is polite. It would have just saved the date if you went to the bathroom..

oJoy 11

Monday 29 September 2014 21:53

well she was shallow, I burp and fart and I do it when ever I need too. stupid girl

Astrobomb 21

Sunday 17 January 2016 5:38

she's a bitch, you're better off

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You deserved it 194

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I agree, your life sucks 36 350

You deserved it 4 651

Just kidding!

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You deserved it 84

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I agree, your life sucks 22 800

You deserved it 2 459

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I agree, your life sucks 21 756

You deserved it 3 387

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I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 124

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 631

You deserved it 3 348

Great date, thanks!

Same thing different taste

The Sweet Smell of Success

Never trust your anus

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