Intimacy: Hands-on

Hands-on

By poolgirl789 - 03/09/2013 06:30 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 771

You deserved it 4 753

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Same thing different taste

Rubbing one out on the sly

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 17:56 - United States - Camarillo

Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 543

You deserved it 2 450

Not funny anymore

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s who had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies' changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 1 865

By therewasnocurtain - 06/04/2015 20:07 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 123

You deserved it 2 543

By today - 17/03/2010 06:12

Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 123

You deserved it 4 417

By sadfantasy - 31/03/2016 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 013

You deserved it 1 639

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 17:39 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 640

You deserved it 2 338

By aragmir - 18/12/2016 06:10 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 701

You deserved it 2 875

By Sleeper_C3ll - 04/02/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 118

You deserved it 2 877

You wanker

By dinosaucer - 12/10/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 304

You deserved it 3 563

Eye-bleach please

By Anonymous - 27/04/2020 14:00

Today, I have been having to work in a residence of people with disabilities when I normally do community work with disabled people and usually enjoy it. I have seen not one, but two elderly mens' genitals today when my actual job would never require me to see any. I didn’t sign up for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 310

_GoodGuy 11

Tuesday 3 September 2013 16:12

Can't wait to reach old age, I can do anything I want ;)

crazytwinsmom 25

Tuesday 3 September 2013 16:12

I would think he'd be able to feed himself if he can whack off.

Comments

cha2010chi 10

Tuesday 3 September 2013 22:10

I work in the same field so I completely feel your pain.

Omniprism 14

Tuesday 3 September 2013 22:39

I would have just said can you hold off while we finish this then you can finish that?

giraffelovergirl 19

Tuesday 3 September 2013 23:10

That's a cummy policy.

hannah_shore23 4

Tuesday 3 September 2013 23:16

Thats just disturbing. lol sorry OP

fwongraven 10

Tuesday 3 September 2013 23:25

I'm sure work policy can't trump the law. Someone wanks in front of you, get them arrested.

TheLawOfSod 4

Wednesday 4 September 2013 2:19

This. It's indecent exposure and could be sexual harassment!

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Wednesday 4 September 2013 0:46

Have some dignity and tell them no.

blackwidowtaco 31

Wednesday 4 September 2013 13:26

That could possibly result in op being fired if the elderly person in question is fully aware of their surroundings and not currently suffering from Alzheimer's.

MrsAlexander83 10

Wednesday 4 September 2013 1:31

That sucks for you! I wouldn't want to put up with stuff like that. I once volunteered at a crisis hotline where we couldn't hang up on people whacking off. I thought it was so stupid that they wanted us to sit there and ask them if they were ok while they were grunting and asking us to keep talking. Eventually I just started putting the phone down and going on about doing other things. On a side note though--he has to be pretty talented to chew his food and whack it at the same time. That's like patting your head and rubbing your stomach--dang near impossible!