Painful, Teachers, Injury and Work: Handy

Handy

By screwed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 228

You deserved it 12 243

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

Frostbite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 525

You deserved it 41 851

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 862

You deserved it 4 723

This is a low

By Stella - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 357

You deserved it 28 784

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 01:34 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 439

You deserved it 2 181

No good deed…

By williebees - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Huntsville

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 919

You deserved it 2 520

Demon child

By PeanutlyDisabled - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 793

You deserved it 3 393

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 838

Hand me downs

By Marcipaud - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Detroit

Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 168

You deserved it 1 061

Dumbass

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 248

Broke boyz

By ohno - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 749

You deserved it 5 570

nokillnobeepbeep 0

Wednesday 7 October 2009 13:20

I guess wood and penetration aren't always a good thing.

passwordis_fml 2

Wednesday 7 October 2009 13:17

u know, there are safety rules to avoid such things, haven't u learnt from ned's declassified school survival guide lol

Comments

XxCoolPersonxX 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 1:10

ewww god I'm sorry that mustve hurt THIS is an FML unlike other lnea

mirage24_fml 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 1:19

Good object lesson, teacher. He will NEVER forget it. You really put yourself into your work, don't you?

CoffeeCovered 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 1:44

Oh, man, that sucks. It's like what happened to my theatre craft teacher. She was holding some wood up for a kid to staple gun together, the kid saw that he missed a spot on the side that she was holding up, and before she could react, he stapled her thumb to the wood. She said it was pretty funny after, though, 'cause the kid ran around, freaking out and yelling "I shot my teacher!"

giganticbrain 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 2:23

"Got dammit, just drilled through my hand. Only thing that'll heal the wound is going on FML and complaining about it. Oh wait, I can't ******* type."

rocksocks 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 3:47

i dont know about where your from, but around here people have 2 hands, and can easily type with 1, unless they are retarded

xoconnie 8

Thursday 8 October 2009 2:56

WTF WHY THE HELL WOULD UR HAND BE UNDER THE WOOD THE KID WAS DRILLING. either ur a retarded teacher or u made this up. wowwwww looooseerrrrr

monkeywrench 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 3:22

YDI for being an idiot. maybe this will teach you to observe the proper safety protocol that YOU SHOULD BE TEACHING TO YOUR STUDENTS

phoenix03 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 4:43

yep, cause if someone drilled through my hand i would rush home to post it on FML too. nice

israelnotjacob 20

Thursday 8 October 2009 8:15

Okay, this one does sound suspiciously fake I admit, but don't use the logic that because he posted on here the same day it's fake. If it is real he didn't post it the same day. Only a select few FMLs are actually posted the same day I'm sure. Most of them probably aren't at least until a day later, if not a few days. That's just what's stupid about this website. It's some rule that you have to say "Today" at the beginning of every story. I think occasionally you see one that doesn't start that way, but almost all of them are that way. I don't know who decided to make it that way, but it's pretty dumb. People should just be able to write "yesterday" or "the other day" or whatever else, because yeah, in most cases these probably weren't the same day.

akshar 0

Friday 9 October 2009 3:09

thats wat i was wondering. Why the heck would u post an fml about it the same day. The guy wouldve had to have gone to the hospital for a while. Not everyone says today first.

Witchcraft_fml 4

Friday 9 October 2009 3:58

Seriously, people, get a brain. Just because it SAYS "today" does not mean it actually happened TODAY. Posting "Today," before the actual FML and "FML" after it just complies with the site's rules. *sob*

israelnotjacob 20

Sunday 11 October 2009 23:40

I think a few don't start with "today" but about 98% of them do. I dare you to actually look for one that doesn't. You many find an occasional one, but I guarantee it'll be extremely rare.