Health, Cats and Animals: Hang in there

Hang in there

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 805

You deserved it 4 982

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 385

You deserved it 15 362

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 817

You deserved it 72 175

I was right all along

By 3peeps - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 812

You deserved it 4 059

GrossAir

By Nolongeracriminal - 05/11/2023 06:11

Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 187

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 262

You deserved it 4 197

Piss poor prank

By peedonme - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 270

You deserved it 2 951

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 9 674

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 287

You deserved it 2 717

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

Self defence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 117

You deserved it 2 483

grahmagog 14

Saturday 15 June 2013 15:46

Im sure all cats are just russian spies...hellbent on human annihilation

tomhofer 14

Saturday 15 June 2013 15:47

One would think that by now people would refrain from letting cats in the bathroom

Comments

carebear808 12

Saturday 15 June 2013 16:17

YDI because you should have closed the door. And locked it. Nobody wants to watch you go to the bathroom, that's disgusting.

HarroIAmBob 21

Saturday 15 June 2013 21:12

what if OP lives alone?

nightbirdblue 27

Sunday 16 June 2013 0:09

What if OP's door is broken and doesn't stay closed?

ImmaBabyGoat 13

Saturday 15 June 2013 16:19

When you have a cat, there is no such thing as going to the bathroom alone.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 15 June 2013 16:20

Why was the door open? It it wasn't...I am still a bit confused...

jmcr 27

Saturday 15 June 2013 16:21

Keep a spray bottle next to the toilet so when you go and the cat looks like its going to up you spray it cats hate that

memebep 6

Saturday 15 June 2013 16:24

unfortunately my cats do the same thing. it don't matter if I lock the door, they'll crawl underneath regardless if I put something there or not. they're too smart.

brilliantideas 6

Saturday 15 June 2013 16:39

Yep, they will always get in unless you have a padlock then they will meow until you give in and just open the door. Cats own us.

boshbish 14

Saturday 15 June 2013 16:25

Haha. Being clawed by your cat is like a right of passage for cat owners. Lock the door next time OP!

JaneDoe1024 6

Saturday 15 June 2013 16:33

one reason I prefer dogs.

jmacfan1 16

Saturday 15 June 2013 16:34

All these people are saying lock the door. What if OP's bathroom door doesn't have a lock? Mine doesn't and I'll bet the most people's bathroom doors don't have locks either

migmit 11

Saturday 15 June 2013 18:29

Installing the lock takes about 5 minutes.

nightbirdblue 27

Sunday 16 June 2013 0:11

It might take not that long, but if you live in a place that you don't own, renting, living with parents, or whatever, adding in things like that would need to be approved by the actual house or apartment owner.

T1A2Z3 34

Friday 13 April 2018 16:03

What person says no to a lock on the toilet door?

kenleybunch 15

Saturday 15 June 2013 17:02

I love cats, but I swear they are the most asshole-ish of animals. THEY DO IT ON PURPOSE

nightbirdblue 27

Sunday 16 June 2013 0:14

That is true enough, but since they do it on purpose, you can expect it. You can never expect when your average dog will be an asshole because dogs do things like that mostly on accident.