Health, Cats and Animals: Hang in there

Hang in there

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 805

You deserved it 4 982

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 385

You deserved it 15 362

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 817

You deserved it 72 174

I was right all along

By 3peeps - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 812

You deserved it 4 059

GrossAir

By Nolongeracriminal - 05/11/2023 06:11

Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 187

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 262

You deserved it 4 197

Piss poor prank

By peedonme - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 270

You deserved it 2 951

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 9 674

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 287

You deserved it 2 717

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

Self defence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 117

You deserved it 2 483

grahmagog 14

Saturday 15 June 2013 15:46

Im sure all cats are just russian spies...hellbent on human annihilation

tomhofer 14

Saturday 15 June 2013 15:47

One would think that by now people would refrain from letting cats in the bathroom

Comments

CeeCee_fml 16

Saturday 15 June 2013 19:55

I can tell when either one of my cats are about to jump on me because they spend at least a hour contemplating it. I just stop them before hand. Luckily, my cats grew out of the making-bathroom-visits-a-social-event phase.

phatdaddy62 23

Saturday 15 June 2013 20:40

You own a cat. YDI.

HarroIAmBob 21

Saturday 15 June 2013 21:10

whats wrong with that? or are you just making an extremely lame excuse to vote YDI?

buckdharma 36

Saturday 15 June 2013 21:00

She miscatculated.

Metthew 15

Saturday 15 June 2013 21:57

Why does people never close the door when they go to the bathroom? I never understand it. xD . I would feel weird being on the toilet with an animal watching.

18Divine 4

Saturday 15 June 2013 22:34

Close the bathroom door

Swimgal333 0

Saturday 15 June 2013 23:13

That just stinks I bet that really hurt

pattayarick 8

Sunday 16 June 2013 1:04

That's what you get for having a cat.

katina1236 20

Sunday 16 June 2013 1:38

I have 3 cats and I keep the bathroom door open, I really don't mind having them in the bathroom with me. Ever since they were kittens they learned that if they want cuddles they wait til I pick them up.

Old_Iron_Sides 6

Sunday 16 June 2013 5:24

They should make a new category of FMLs for those easily avoided by shutting and locking the bathroom door...

DumbAndYoung 30

Sunday 16 June 2013 11:41

My cat likes to jump up and drink from the faucet in the sink. If I go into my bathroom and close the door she meows outside of it until I come out, so I just let her in.