Cats, Injury and Animals: Heftychonk

Heftychonk

By Backinzi - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 507

You deserved it 5 076

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Same thing different taste

By HHIChica - 17/09/2009 11:14 - United States

Today, while my 18 pound cat was on the edge of the tub watching me shower, he fell in. Apparently, in his mind, the best way to get away from the water is to climb my bare legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 426

You deserved it 5 843

By crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 624

You deserved it 5 848

Thanks little buddy

By crushed - 10/03/2021 14:00

Today, I was in the middle of my workout when my cat meowed so loudly, it startled me into dropping a 50-pound weight onto my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 290

Stuck in the middle

By Mark - 20/03/2017 08:00 - United States - Sparks

Today, while I was vacuuming, my cat got scared and tripped me. I landed on the vacuum handle between my legs. Not walking too well right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 697

You deserved it 569

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 17:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 658

You deserved it 4 796

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 06:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 149

You deserved it 501

By ouch - 26/03/2011 02:27

Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 220

You deserved it 5 457

Raining cats and dogs

By Fling! - 29/11/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I tried to put my reclining chair back. My cat and dog were sitting on the very top. It went up in an unexpectedly forceful manner, sending them flying, causing my dog to fall, and my cat to cling for dear life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 355

You were framed

By Slippery! - 01/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, while walking through my living room, I slipped and nearly fell, narrowly avoiding hitting my head against a nearby door jamb. What did I slip on, you ask? A single cat treat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 163

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 685

You deserved it 3 453

applecaketree 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 9:27

Your cat needs to diet!

TheBrickWithouse 10

Sunday 31 July 2011 9:26

I've been there. it definitely sucks. FYL.

Comments

MichaelReyes1 3

Sunday 31 July 2011 11:05

that gave me chills xD that sounds like it hurt

Pearl864 8

Sunday 31 July 2011 11:12

Neosporin

jennyc246 8

Sunday 31 July 2011 11:21

why do I feel like I've read this FML before?

Shoob1 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 12:52

sorry but your cat shouldn't be on the counter top in the first place... ewwww

sexy_geek 5

Sunday 31 July 2011 13:15

make sure u put rubbing alcohol, salt and lemon juice in that wound ;-) lol

epiclife101 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 14:51

WHAT THE . WHAT DO U FEED YOUR CAT ?

IvyLee_fml 1

Sunday 31 July 2011 19:24

mines 19 lbs. no joke.

neongurl98 10

Sunday 31 July 2011 14:57

And people say cats are the safest, LEAST TROUBLESOME animals! Yeah right ;/

Person1233 12

Sunday 31 July 2011 15:06

I have never heard someone say that. Maybe you're thinking of goldfish.

SadinSherman 16

Monday 1 August 2011 6:19

Or a dog but they can have different personalities/temperaments

hcs4life21 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 15:19

What the hell do you feed your cat OP?

SadinSherman 16

Monday 1 August 2011 6:21

McDonalds?

hcs4life21 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 4:49

Lol good enough!

I_only_say_LOL 6

Sunday 31 July 2011 15:30

LOL

corrinaswan 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 15:41

I don't think your cat is 17 pounds

Keywords

Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Love Awkward Smells Embarrassing Miscellaneous Painful Health First Dates Christmas Work Grieving Social Media Music Boredom Anniversary Abuse Intimacy Ironic AITA Am I overreacting? Alcohol Transportation Drunk Gun control Kids Parents

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 789

You deserved it 3 968

Today, after 10+ years of being best friends, I finally told my best friend "I love you" while we were on the phone. To which she said, "That's OK, but…" and continued the conversation. Maybe I shouldn't have drank so much, or waited so long. We're both in happy marriages, with kids with other people now though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 869

The Top

Today, I got a citation from school. My 10-year-old son was caught smoking cigarettes during recess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 218

Today, I went to the laundromat for the first time. I fit all of my clothes into two washers. Not knowing where to put the soap in, I asked a man doing his laundry, "Excuse me, where do I put the soap in?". He replied, "Ma'am, those are the dryers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 596

You deserved it 80 146

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 136

You deserved it 6 470

Today, one of my Economics students in all seriousness turned in a research paper about the 2021 Supply Chain Crisis, saying that Joe Biden is at fault and that "liberals who put feelings over policy" are to blame. He used sources such as the Daily Mail and even cited a YouTube video by Ben Shapiro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 509

Today, while updating my résumé, I noticed that in my list of achievements it said "Torturing middle school students". I meant "tutoring", but I guess this explains why I'm still unemployed a year after I started looking for a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 527

You deserved it 5 330

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 572

You deserved it 49 049