Miscellaneous: Help!

Help!

By LGFLIPSTER - 31/08/2009 03:32 - Canada

Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind me she called, "Can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her unload bags. She began hitting me, screaming, "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 724

You deserved it 6 566

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Same thing different taste

By bthms - 31/01/2010 14:46 - France

Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 943

You deserved it 3 454

Weird old lady of the day

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 548

You deserved it 3 454

Don't bother

By NoticeTheLackOfNumbers - 12/08/2009 22:43 - United States

Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 753

You deserved it 3 256

By WTF is all I ask - 27/07/2012 23:55 - United States - Mcallen

Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 395

You deserved it 2 493

By anonymous - 01/02/2016 06:07 - Canada

Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 051

You deserved it 1 459

Stranger Danger!

By tried to help - 07/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 512

You deserved it 658

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 859

You deserved it 3 597

The road to hell

By notgoodwitholdpeople - 23/05/2014 16:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 843

You deserved it 3 115

Stars of CCTV

By Stfu lil brat smh - 26/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 1 960

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 06:02 - United States

Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 4 097

Darling_Cherry 5

Monday 31 August 2009 9:14

Hilarious. That'll teach you to make yourself useful!

Calaura9 0

Monday 31 August 2009 9:18

You sound like a sweet guy. I love sweet innocent guys... mmmmmm....

Comments

BloodyPoisonKiss 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 0:57

HAAHAA!!! That's hilarious! Oh my god, I can't stop laughing, I'm sorry. I'm being so inconsiderate!!

mathsponge 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 1:52

LOL

foryoublue94 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 2:47

Why were you approaching her from behind? Rapist

cmac86 23

Tuesday 1 September 2009 5:51

the neighborly thing to do is to watch rather than help. at least now it is, not like it was when the Good Samaritan parable was told by Jesus.

PurpDOODE 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 1:14

OLD LADY= WINNAH.

jonsonvillebrat 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 21:11

YDI, because you can't spell.

F00l 1

Friday 4 September 2009 0:32

LOL this is a good one!

antonioohama 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 1:53

Phukk her!

jaded_gal 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 12:00

Yikes. What a crochety old bitch! FYL

ladeizy 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 5:32

oo LMAOOOO

Keywords

Cute Love Surprise Texting My ex Awkward Wanker Intimacy Sex Sleep Health Insomnia Mental health Cooking Food Kids Weekend Parents Miscellaneous Annoying Pranks Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Cats Animals

The Top

Today, I got absolutely hammered and noticed this familiar-looking chick. I walked up to her and said, "Oh my god, I know I know you but I don't know where from." Looking annoyed, she replied, "We've worked together for months." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 2 849

Today, I got a concussion when banging my head. I got extremely nauseous and nearly passed out. The emergency doctor gave me anti-nausea pills. The top three side effects are headache, dizziness and drowsiness. I have no idea if they're working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 143

The Top

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 453

You deserved it 808

Today, my AP government teacher moved our seats and of course, I was seated next to my ex who has harassed me ever since our breakup. When I asked the teacher after class if I could please have a seat change, she told me I would have to write a 3-page essay on why I made the request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 569

You deserved it 996

Today, I found out from some guy that he and my wife had been having an affair for over year. She confessed to everything, and said they had already broken it off. She also admitted that she would've never mentioned it to me if I'd never found out on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 96

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 546

You deserved it 7 280

Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 154

You deserved it 269

Today, I'm a generalist with moderate knowledge of multiple domains, but since I'm not a specialist in any, I'm not getting a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 226