Alcohol, Drunk and Love: I get around

I get around

By Permafucked - 12/05/2009 14:23 - United States

Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer, I ended up in bed with one of them, who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 100

You deserved it 86 209

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Same thing different taste

By lovewedge - 09/03/2009 00:25 - United States

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 070

You deserved it 23 554

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 8 844

By Anonymous - 21/02/2014 17:37 - Germany - Naurath

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 668

You deserved it 6 149

By chase - 25/01/2013 00:54 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 211

You deserved it 53 258

By Madmanmorton - 16/06/2011 18:34 - United States

Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 147

You deserved it 47 305

Party hard

By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 3 262

By bestbfever - 17/05/2017 02:00

Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 849

You deserved it 413

By blackntangirl - 18/07/2009 23:31 - United States

Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 424

You deserved it 14 011

By holyshitbatman - 22/09/2012 14:06 - United States - Chicago

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 532

You deserved it 29 765

By TragicallyAnxious - 10/05/2019 08:00

Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 474

You deserved it 649

zanyone 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:08

so is one beer the most you have ever drank? sounds like a date rape drug to me.

MyNameIsAudrey 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:05

I've heard of a four beer queer but that is just ridiculous.

Comments

tempaccount 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 2:19

At the people who are all "YDI for having low tolerance" or "you're making shit up" I suspect she was date-raped. Discuss.

trooper14 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 2:21

what really happened...she cant get laid, they were wasted not her, one guy got desperate, she spread like peanut butter...either way still a **** you cant get drunk off one beer.

mcsnelly 5

Wednesday 13 May 2009 2:23

OP-Even if you're really that much of a lightweight, one beer would never get you so drunk you don't know what you're doing, And if you do actually get kind of drunk off of very little alcohol, KNOW YOUR LIMIT! But since you obviously weren't completely wasted just from the one beer, you're just a **** and want to blame your bad choices on the alcohol. Well, it was your choice to drink and your choice to be a sleep with someone. NO FML just a HUGE YDI!!

anonymousstudent 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 2:24

unless you are like..a baby...u were not drunk. It was either a) more than one beer and you just wanted it to be funnier...or b) u were acting drunk and u really are a ****...u choose one beer doesnt do SHIT

sophiepento 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 2:32

One beer? are you serious? im 15 are i take 5 cruisers before im half tipsy.

ohhhhshizzz 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 2:34

Oh come one, A) beer sucks, if you're American. B) Come on! I'm a fourteen year old girl, and not even THREE beers would get me drunk. And no I started a drinking when I was 13, I just made 14 in Nov. If you really wanna get "drunk" drink some hard liquor please. And if this is true, find out what was in that beer, seriously.

yoursavinggrace 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 2:40

i'm only 15, and pretty lightweight but i drank two-three cans of beer in one sitting and just got tipsy. i don't understand how you can be THAT drunk off of one beer to not even be able to put your bra on. unless one beer = one gallon of beer? just don't ever try liquor if you get drunk that quickly.

kandy_fml 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 2:40

Who gets drunk off of one beer? What are you, 10? If you don't even know your limits, you shouldn't be allowed to drink. YDI.

gilly_fml 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 2:43

that doesnt really sound legit to me... one beer? i dont care how small you are that just doesnt happen. something was in that if you were out after one. and #5 that is so not something to be proud of