Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: I'm Anna

I'm Anna

By NoMoreTrumpetBlowing - 14/08/2013 16:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 286

You deserved it 9 039

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Meet the family

By OhMeGerd - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 480

You deserved it 29 019

Scolded

By oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 045

You deserved it 5 468

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 808

You deserved it 4 327

Tense dinner

By bittenbyadonkey - 28/01/2011 17:23 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 273

You deserved it 3 577

By 1thapp3ns - 10/01/2010 04:29 - United States

Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing, "If You're Happy and You Know It." My mom joined in. They sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 045

You deserved it 3 007

By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 09:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 758

You deserved it 6 147

By saddened97 - 20/01/2011 09:39 - Australia

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 709

You deserved it 12 897

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 07/12/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 046

You deserved it 42 027

Randy old bird

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 675

You deserved it 2 772

Dad jokes!

By Chels - 11/05/2011 05:17 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 484

You deserved it 5 318

mattjamt 16

Wednesday 14 August 2013 22:25

Most of the major musicians have multiple trumpets to choose from, if you know what I'm saying.

perdix 29

Wednesday 14 August 2013 22:46

I don't know what you are saying. Are you saying that major musicians have multiple penises? Or, they have multiple people to give ******** to? I doubt you have to be a major musician to find people to accept your ********.

Comments

LennyComa 39

Thursday 15 August 2013 10:30

That is an awesome response to his mother, Punishment should be 3 days of non coital activity

tannara 12

Thursday 15 August 2013 10:54

Hahahahahha is he single now? Toot toot

PaulieXP 16

Thursday 15 August 2013 12:41

Is your boyfriends name Ray by any chance?

KylarStern19 7

Thursday 15 August 2013 15:38

Okay now that was funny and atleast his dad laughed it off and hopefully his mom doesn't think bad about you. Long as he really does like you you should not worry about it

laurapiggy 3

Thursday 15 August 2013 21:36

No sir!!! You did not say that shit to your mom at dinner!!

imnotmadbro 7

Friday 16 August 2013 5:49

your right I say worse things

TheWhiteLotus 5

Thursday 15 August 2013 23:12

Driving lessons? What, is the kid 14?

cheer21moose 13

Friday 16 August 2013 0:15

Now that's a good dad

Insomnolence 1

Friday 16 August 2013 2:18

How dare the OP prefer to keep her presumed private life between her and her boyfriend, and feel unhappy when he says something she considers inappropriate to other people! You're supposed to be okay with everything, even if you feel embarrassed or disrespected. Otherwise, you're a stick in the mud and lack a sense of humor. Shame on you, OP.