Alcohol, Ironic and Health: I need one - FML

I need one

By j…… - 14/08/2011 03:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 615

You deserved it 56 930

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Same thing different taste

By Reeen - 03/06/2016 22:29 - United States - Pittsboro

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 695

You deserved it 1 244

By sober - 10/07/2012 03:40 - United States - Hillsborough

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 063

You deserved it 3 424

By Drunkard - 08/02/2017 00:54 - United States - Tracy

Today, my boyfriend gave me grief about my drinking. This would be fine, if he were sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 115

You deserved it 794

The Phone Call

By turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 954

You deserved it 215

By whoababy55 - 21/08/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 450

You deserved it 2 673

On the sauce

By drinkdrankdrunk - 27/09/2013 07:33 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 264

You deserved it 17 921

By drunkboysgf - 21/10/2011 07:39 - Canada

Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 613

You deserved it 5 231

TW: The final straw

By Anonymous - 04/12/2021 19:58

Today, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, because his alcohol problem is so bad that he drank his way through an old bottle of Tequila, which belonged to my mum, and that I'd kept after she committed suicide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 114

Driven to drink

By Anonymous - 23/07/2023 15:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying to dispose of several empty alcohol bottles, leading to a discussion how dating me and putting up with my insanity has given him a drinking problem just so he can get through the day. Me catching him seemed to be the wake up call he needed, because he dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 879

By me - 18/05/2011 04:13

Today, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years, with whom I have a baby, broke up with me. His reason? His best friend said he didn't like drinking with guys who were "tied down". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 919

You deserved it 6 270

Next

Top comments

F0xyTurtle 8

Sunday 14 August 2011 8:52

So maybe you should try to fix your drinking problem...

Jaimegirl 7

Sunday 14 August 2011 9:30

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me due to my abusing animals, my reaction? I punted a kitten off a cliff.

Comments

badactor009 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 11:37

"Drunken antics"... I can only imagine. Get used to being dumped. Some people cant drink. You might be one of them. Here's the deal, you can live your life any way you want but there are consequences for poor choices. Consider addressing the drinking problem. Your life, and anyone that cares about you, will be much better if you do. If you don't do something about it you will hurt those that care about you, hold yourself back in ways too numerous to mention and be held at arms length by anyone who sees through your drunken B.S.

ImDB8 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 11:40

Nicely done! And hey I like my women to be drinkers your ex doesnt know what he's missing, you rock!

betoocastilloo 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 11:45

I BET YOU'RE FAAAAAAT!!

megsy123 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 11:47

that's retarded. I'm an addict and have a 7 yr old dog 18 yr old cat and baby kitten.... I've never killed any if them. my advise get an education and step outside your parents metal cage because you are obviously whipped into submission and inhumanity by them.

DrewsFML 8

Sunday 14 August 2011 19:12

LMFAO "If you want to be talking in delusional, incomprehensible rants about pet longevity and metal cages then keep up the drinking and you can be just like me!"

nanahiwa 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 11:54

So what did u do ? Was it serious enough why would he date or give u alcohol his fault aswell as yours duh

megsy123 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 11:54

that is not directed at op but at the puppy kicker. look just cause shut ain't got real in your life does not mean you know what you are talking about children. go live a little then comment back.

nanahiwa 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 13:07

At megsy aww where u the dumped, stop acting *****-ish so sad boo drink ur drink ur sloppy deal with it children I bet ur old as **** see me, I'm not old living with regrets so ur lame jajajjajajjaja

ilovefall10 21

Sunday 14 August 2011 11:55

Honestly , I do not feel sorry for you.

roxysoxy 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 12:18

two letters. AA

rebelforlife89 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 12:33

Way to go that's the spirit

screamo_neve 12

Sunday 14 August 2011 13:41

We should party together :)

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Neighbours Lonely Halloween Wanker Jealousy Love Party Fight Family Argument Animals Cats Parents Sports Health Embarrassing Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Dogs Cute Work AITA

The Top

Today, my dad's last words before he fell into a coma, and later died, were about how he wanted to stick his face in the ass of his 20-something nurse and motorboat her cheeks. I had to lie to my mother and say that his last words were that he wanted to see her again before the end. Thanks dad, NOT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 194

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 160

You deserved it 60 212

The Top

Today, while struggling to find a job that will accommodate my disabilities, an acquaintance ranted at me about how nobody wants to work hard, and they have to earn what they get. This chucklefuck works for his father, will inherit a multi-million dollar business, and bought his house from his aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 150

Today, I hit a stray Chihuahua with my car, a little Taco Bell tan dog, ironically whilst taking my own chihuahua dog to a vet appointment, in full view of two kids no less. A roughly 10-12 year-old girl and her 8ish year-old brother, who were taking out their trash to the dumpster in the alley, saw the whole thing. I later cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 98

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 511

You deserved it 2 795

Today, I decided to finish up some Christmas shopping. Instead, I ended up having to buy a present for myself - a new alternator after my car died and left me stranded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 330

You deserved it 243

Today, I seemingly misplaced my cell phone but didn't have time to look for it before work. This evening, my cell phone company calls me to tell me I have six hundred dollars worth of calls to El Salvador that I have to pay for. My cell phone was not misplaced, it was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 112

You deserved it 4 172

Today, I was happy to finally receive an email from my younger sister, whom I have not been able to talk to for months due to being in the military stationed overseas. The email was to tell me my mom is in jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 627

You deserved it 1 758