Intimacy: Inappropriate - FML

Inappropriate

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 19:39 - Ireland - Mountmellick

Spicy

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 655

You deserved it 3 255

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By PrettyScared - 29/07/2013 15:07 - United States - Matthews

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 622

You deserved it 6 052

By charlieg9 - 30/08/2013 12:33 - United States - East Meadow

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 277

You deserved it 15 866

By Anonymous - 08/11/2015 06:15 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with, "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 005

You deserved it 2 127

Oh yeah, wait what…?

By Phyllis79 - 28/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was having lunch with a friend when I went on a rant about how much I really dislike my boss, ranting about all his annoying habits. After a long tirade, my friend looked at me awkwardly and said, "You do realize he's my uncle, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 454

By Oops - 04/07/2014 17:35 - United States

Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 959

You deserved it 43 582

With military bearing

By Pin Chi - 20/02/2022 14:00

Today, my sister’s son, who adores me, started calling me, “my funny uncle.” I was later informed this is also a euphemism for an uncle who molested you. I didn't know, and now he won’t stop saying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 76

Great conversation starter

By balkangirl94 - 23/12/2011 07:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 490

You deserved it 3 736

The long game

By Not this again.... - 26/09/2023 10:00 - United States - Staten Island

Spicy

Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 580

You deserved it 21 156

Or does he?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 00:30

Today, I read a message from someone on Instagram asking if I wanted to "hook up with a nice guy sometime." It was my uncle – he doesn't recognize his own family before messaging them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 65

Next

Top comments

shippingboat 8

Saturday 25 April 2015 8:58

That's equal parts disgusting and terrifying.

Axelerate 23

Saturday 25 April 2015 9:00

You definitely want to follow the buddy system when you're around him

Comments

BeckaHemmings 9

Sunday 26 April 2015 13:12

Run.

Marebare23 17

Sunday 26 April 2015 15:01

Everyone here saying that's a compliment, no. What if it was her dad that said that?! It's ******* gross.

limegreenpoopie 31

Sunday 26 April 2015 15:35

Ewww tell your parents!

Ava_Darkflame 26

Sunday 26 April 2015 23:03

Stay the **** away from him...

SaturnCheese 5

Monday 27 April 2015 2:40

Time for a restraining order.

Crazypigtails 5

Monday 27 April 2015 3:50

Ran, I know from personal experience

alfonze07 12

Monday 27 April 2015 4:53

Dude has issues.

onlyme78 4

Monday 27 April 2015 6:32

You should have walked in and said. .. we aren't related. ... and then ****** him with a fat lip and black eye.

pheanixgod 8

Monday 27 April 2015 14:58

True love

savemeSheehan 8

Monday 27 April 2015 21:48

ahh the creepy uncle. might still wanna tell somebody about that one

6
7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Relatable Shoes Clothes Miscellaneous Transportation Insurance Cars Work Health Cheating Love Food Clumsy Embarrassing Awkward Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Cute Dogs Ironic Pranks Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I learned that when you stand up to a bully in a bar, it never ends like it does in the movies, the bully doesn’t get knocked out, and you don’t get the girl. What you get is a trip to hospital, banned from the bar, and the girl goes home with the bully while you lie in the ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 543

Today, after spending two days pampering my sick fiancee and her sick son, they were finally feeling better. I woke up feeling rotten and said I needed to rest. She said, "Okay, but I want to deep clean today. Let's go! Out of bed! Up up!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 85

The Top

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 151

You deserved it 2 650

Today, I still was unable to figure out why I got a question incorrect on a test. I got all the other questions correct. I’m a perfectionist who is beating myself up over getting only 499 out of 500 correct. People think one of my parents is Asian like me, but they’re both Caucasian and never cared about my grades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 424

Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 209

You deserved it 3 967

Today, my daughter was telling everyone at her elementry school about my gay partner. Yes, I have a gay partner. He is my work partner and he happens to be gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 172

You deserved it 5 144

Today, I went for a job interview. The woman interviewing me had such a thick accent that I had to keep asking her to repeat herself. She got so frustrated that she ended the interview super early. I don't think I got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 594

You deserved it 1 209

Today, I'd purchased a ticket for the train on my mobile app. Some idiot pushed past me on his way out and in the process makes me drop my phone, ruining it. A conductor then came to check my ticket and I got fined 150 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 714

You deserved it 180