Intimacy: Inappropriate - FML

Inappropriate

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 19:39 - Ireland - Mountmellick

Spicy

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 655

You deserved it 3 255

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Same thing different taste

By PrettyScared - 29/07/2013 15:07 - United States - Matthews

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 622

You deserved it 6 052

By charlieg9 - 30/08/2013 12:33 - United States - East Meadow

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 277

You deserved it 15 866

By Anonymous - 08/11/2015 06:15 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with, "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 005

You deserved it 2 127

Oh yeah, wait what…?

By Phyllis79 - 28/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was having lunch with a friend when I went on a rant about how much I really dislike my boss, ranting about all his annoying habits. After a long tirade, my friend looked at me awkwardly and said, "You do realize he's my uncle, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 454

By Oops - 04/07/2014 17:35 - United States

Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 959

You deserved it 43 582

With military bearing

By Pin Chi - 20/02/2022 14:00

Today, my sister’s son, who adores me, started calling me, “my funny uncle.” I was later informed this is also a euphemism for an uncle who molested you. I didn't know, and now he won’t stop saying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 76

Great conversation starter

By balkangirl94 - 23/12/2011 07:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 490

You deserved it 3 736

The long game

By Not this again.... - 26/09/2023 10:00 - United States - Staten Island

Spicy

Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 580

You deserved it 21 156

Or does he?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 00:30

Today, I read a message from someone on Instagram asking if I wanted to "hook up with a nice guy sometime." It was my uncle – he doesn't recognize his own family before messaging them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 65

Next

Top comments

shippingboat 8

Saturday 25 April 2015 8:58

That's equal parts disgusting and terrifying.

Axelerate 23

Saturday 25 April 2015 9:00

You definitely want to follow the buddy system when you're around him

Comments

so_this_is_me 24

Monday 27 April 2015 23:04

That is very disturbing and wrong. Definitely FYL.

Si123 33

Monday 27 April 2015 23:28

That is really creepy and weird.

toxicdeath 7

Tuesday 28 April 2015 16:31

ohahahah that's hilarious and gross and messed up XD

chickenshit6 3

Tuesday 28 April 2015 17:42

That's just scary ?

SasquatchDeluxe 10

Wednesday 29 April 2015 5:32

Ewwwwww…!

Kejus 13

Wednesday 29 April 2015 9:51

GET TO DA CHOPPA, RAAA.

qlortin_fml 7

Thursday 30 April 2015 10:44

Why are people losing their mind here? I read the fml again a couple of time, just to be sure... But the guy actually said "if we weren't related". So, it's a fantasy about a guy and a girl who aren't related. How the f*ck is that incest?

bolingea 9

Thursday 7 May 2015 7:02

Maybe you should have a few drinks and give him a sexy surprise, you might enjoy it more than you think.

fanta_zero 1

Saturday 30 May 2015 0:09

You sicko that uncle is horrid for saying that and you want her/him to give him a "sexy surprise" that is the most sickening thing I've ever heard

uchihastephy88 25

Tuesday 19 May 2015 8:26

D:

smarti1809 12

Friday 22 May 2015 4:38

what the actual hell?

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The Top

Today, I was working my job checking people in at the gym. A sweaty, chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied, "We like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said, "So how did you get the job?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 925

You deserved it 15 103

Today, my wife has video of me asleep on the sofa, clearly having a vivid sex dream, with a raging erection, ending with me having an orgasm that soaked through the front of my shorts, leaving a wet spot, which she helpfully zoomed in on just to really illustrate my shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 181

The Top

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 141

You deserved it 9 985

Today, my mom accused me of stealing $350 from her. She didn't accuse my unemployed brother, who just bought a brand new iPhone. Even after he confessed to her, she thought he was covering for me. My brother has a criminal record for theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 794

You deserved it 119

Today, I've been requesting to use my days off for months, but my boss would turn it down because of emergencies that required my presence (90% of the time it didn’t). Now it’s the end of year and he yelled at me for not using my days off, because it made him look bad to corporate. Asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 93

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 936

You deserved it 4 319

Today, I tried to write a journal entry about my day, but since I've become so used to going on tangents, my daily entry did everything but talk about my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 621

Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number, I wanted to mess with my girlfriend a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 248

You deserved it 33 990