ACAB, Cops and Intimacy: Insult to adultery - FML

Insult to adultery

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 098

You deserved it 7 724

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Same thing different taste

By singlesoon - 25/08/2009 04:26 - Canada

Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 739

You deserved it 7 152

It's sus to us

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - New Orleans

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 434

You deserved it 4 495

WHO ARE YOU?

By Targeted - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Kirkland

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 186

You deserved it 2 892

Sigma mindset

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 899

You deserved it 5 637

By allocomrade - 29/07/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 694

You deserved it 3 260

Suspect

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 399

You deserved it 2 849

By InTheDoghouse23 - 24/08/2009 21:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 854

You deserved it 59 342

By Alex - 05/02/2016 22:55 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 090

You deserved it 2 977

By cuppincake - 19/10/2023 16:04 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 352

You deserved it 3 509

Hungover

By RedheadA - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 651

You deserved it 3 696

Next

Top comments

Sekkaichi 12

Tuesday 18 June 2013 0:10

I'm guessing he wants you out of the picture.

dramaelf 37

Tuesday 18 June 2013 0:11

Wow. No donuts for him.

Comments

newzealand 28

Tuesday 18 June 2013 4:05

He didn't he was just drawing comparisons..

amifaiyaz 12

Tuesday 18 June 2013 4:25

Oh wow, what a jackass.

ksks1234 33

Tuesday 18 June 2013 4:39

Oh my damn! I hope I never meet you, and if I do, I hope I never piss you off!

patrickalamo 47

Tuesday 18 June 2013 4:59

A new meaning for internal affairs.

mikeramos 2

Tuesday 18 June 2013 5:13

well why have you been arrested twice?

LookAttMyyLifee 12

Tuesday 18 June 2013 5:21

Ain't that a coincidence....

badmandilon 19

Tuesday 18 June 2013 5:28

That's called bail out.

Q94 5

Tuesday 18 June 2013 5:35

Damn! That dude owns you!!!

wvcheesehead1 9

Tuesday 18 June 2013 5:49

If you are in a small town... go to the local paper... they love scandals like this. He will probably be pressured to resign and your wife, hopefully soon to be ex wife, will be publicly embarrassed as well. I hope no kids are involved.

arre2006 19

Tuesday 18 June 2013 5:50

He's serving and protecting for the WRONG reason

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The Top

Today, I'm at odds with my fiancée because a drunk girl approached me at a Halloween party and complimented my costume. I barely acknowledged the woman and made polite small talk until she walked away. Apparently, I was too friendly and should have shooed the woman away rudely and immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 97

Today, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with his girl bestie for 4 years. I also found out he's been having threesomes with his male bestie. Both people have been around me and my family this entire time. We've been married for 15 years. Joke's on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 413

You deserved it 170

The Top

Today, I came to the unpleasant realization that my friends only keep me around because I’m nice, know when to keep my mouth shut, and am willing to listen to them vent. In short, I’m the therapist friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 171

Today, my boyfriend was wearing a new shirt he had bought over the weekend. It was really cute and I always borrow his shirts so I asked to borrow his new one. He replied with, "Okay but please don't stretch this one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 828

You deserved it 18 878

Today, I found out that a coworker and I may get laid off soon, all because my boss's niece told him she can do both our jobs all by herself, and for less money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 628

You deserved it 1 094

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 546

You deserved it 5 515

Today, after my grandfather died a month ago, my grandmother had a massive stroke. I have a sinus infection but had to be tested for Covid. I need it to show negative so I can say goodbye to the most influential woman in my life. I don’t know that results will be back in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 71

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 195

You deserved it 7 620