ACAB, Cops and Intimacy: Insult to adultery - FML

Insult to adultery

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 098

You deserved it 7 724

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Same thing different taste

By singlesoon - 25/08/2009 04:26 - Canada

Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 739

You deserved it 7 152

It's sus to us

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - New Orleans

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 434

You deserved it 4 495

WHO ARE YOU?

By Targeted - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Kirkland

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 186

You deserved it 2 892

Sigma mindset

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 899

You deserved it 5 637

By allocomrade - 29/07/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 694

You deserved it 3 260

Suspect

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 399

You deserved it 2 849

By InTheDoghouse23 - 24/08/2009 21:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 854

You deserved it 59 342

By Alex - 05/02/2016 22:55 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 090

You deserved it 2 977

By cuppincake - 19/10/2023 16:04 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 352

You deserved it 3 509

Hungover

By RedheadA - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 651

You deserved it 3 696

Next

Top comments

Sekkaichi 12

Tuesday 18 June 2013 0:10

I'm guessing he wants you out of the picture.

dramaelf 37

Tuesday 18 June 2013 0:11

Wow. No donuts for him.

Comments

buckdharma 36

Tuesday 18 June 2013 6:03

Remember when he said "Hands against the wall, feet back and spread um." It worked on her too.

krikoleets 4

Tuesday 18 June 2013 6:09

Mhmm you would think sleeping with your wife would get you out of being arrested...

dodzin 9

Tuesday 18 June 2013 7:58

Report him to the special investigation unit. Let them grill him well. Hire an attorney, divorce the bitch and sue the police department. You will be free of your wife, revenged and have some money.

RedGai 7

Tuesday 18 June 2013 8:08

Walking Dead, alternative universe

Soninuva 41

Tuesday 18 June 2013 8:16

Wow. Looks like you're not the only one that got ****** by the police!

xblaine 17

Tuesday 18 June 2013 8:26

How'd ya find out? Was your wife hand cuffed to the bed. I'm sorry OP

MrZsDad 19

Tuesday 18 June 2013 8:26

It could be worse, the last guy he did this to isn't trying to sleep with you while in prison now is he?

Abominations 7

Tuesday 18 June 2013 10:14

Da po-po got yo wife. Pudding time.

dizzaymizlizzay 11

Tuesday 18 June 2013 10:14

Well, that's a ****** up turn of events. I'd love to know how OP found out

MTCoralReefer 10

Tuesday 18 June 2013 10:46

Murda was the case that they have me...

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I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 100

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I agree, your life sucks 29 640

You deserved it 2 606

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I agree, your life sucks 15 761

You deserved it 60 014