Intimacy: It happens to the best of us

It happens to the best of us

By unsatisfied - 01/02/2010 00:20 - United States

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 813

You deserved it 3 931

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 932

You deserved it 10 192

Anticlimax

By Deidle-dee - 26/10/2010 16:37 - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 996

You deserved it 4 703

By Grace - 17/10/2018 03:00

Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 532

You deserved it 1 375

By aww, such a nice guy. NOT - 25/05/2014 17:46 - United States - Dodge City

Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 407

You deserved it 6 648

Quickie

By wasntworththedrive - 20/01/2010 06:43 - United States

Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 737

You deserved it 4 921

By Anonymous - 18/08/2018 03:30

Today, I had sex with a guy I'd had a crush on for a long time. When I asked if he was having trouble putting it in, he answered that he was fully in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 045

You deserved it 672

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 05:31 - United States

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 973

You deserved it 7 285

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 430

You deserved it 1 416

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 805

You deserved it 4 728

Steamy

By DreeStahr - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 075

You deserved it 1 451

joshhh11 0

Monday 1 February 2010 9:15

well he did say "it's going to take hours" ;)

3_Kitten_3 0

Monday 1 February 2010 9:17

wow suckedge. He worked himself up so much that when it was time, the pressure was on to satisfy you greatly. Give him a chance, men get nervous too.

Comments

jpjruler 0

Monday 1 February 2010 9:49

poor basterd... mine can get up to a ******* crack in the wall if I'm not careful lol... that sux though must have gotten nervous lol just coax that basterd out next time lol... if you have to use a flute and like play music till it comes out like a snake outta a barrel XD! lol

Shainax3 0

Monday 1 February 2010 10:40

#15- ur an idiot lmfaoo #17- how was she gonna give him a blow when dt shiit its dead

guckylynn 19

Monday 1 February 2010 16:03

# 20 I think 17 meant suck on him until he gets hard...

fallenangel72 7

Saturday 11 August 2012 6:19

Lol ur ******* hilarious. That shit is dead hahaha

omg2010 0

Monday 1 February 2010 9:52

you should have tried to give him a little blow

Jimbo2000 0

Monday 1 February 2010 9:58

so what. just have him go down on you

WHODATNATION 0

Monday 1 February 2010 10:25

did he smoke something before?

zeebug 0

Monday 1 February 2010 10:50

so guys can't get it up if they smoke certain things? really?

WHODATNATION 0

Monday 1 February 2010 11:36

it's actually helping in the first hour and then it goes downhill until the effect is faded out, but probably different guys have different experienses with that.

Rickymonkeypants 0

Monday 1 February 2010 10:51

Today I was flirting with one of my ugly friends to make her feel better, until she decided to have sex. She got naked and said, "Do Me!" I had to lie about "Gitting it up" just so I could get out of there without hurting her feelings. After seeing her naked I think I might be gay now...FML

jpjruler 0

Monday 1 February 2010 11:24

ok dude comon you can't post an fml on an fml just because yours didn't make it lol....

ravensunnyd 0

Monday 1 February 2010 15:16

it's saying it's from the guys perspective

xxrogerthatxx 19

Tuesday 12 November 2013 2:12

LMFAO!! You made my day!!

Ochi_fml 0

Monday 1 February 2010 12:28

yeah, it might not be a health issue, alot of guys are nervous so it wont get hard.

perdix 29

Monday 1 February 2010 12:33

I love how he said "it's going to take hours" making her think he was going to **** her for hours, when he was really saying she's going to have to wait hours to enjoy his "Two-Minute Drill." Either move on or learn to love sucking on soft meat for a long time. Think of it as making jerky!