Intimacy: It's just a flesh wound!

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 163

You deserved it 4 026

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Same thing different taste

Romantic

By Anonymous - 14/12/2010 01:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 836

You deserved it 3 166

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 784

You deserved it 7 879

Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 15/09/2015 05:56 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 022

You deserved it 4 391

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 16:46 - United Kingdom - Loughton

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 823

You deserved it 3 843

By Ouch - 25/04/2011 19:31 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 749

You deserved it 20 695

Cramped

By chelse_elyce - 21/01/2015 04:10 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 835

You deserved it 13 367

By staciedee - 01/06/2010 09:49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 172

You deserved it 4 955

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 365

You deserved it 5 692

Life imitates bad art

By sex sent me to the Er - 15/10/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 2 142

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 623

You deserved it 4 102

S0CCERSTAR01 2

Wednesday 1 February 2012 22:29

Should have punched him in the balls and asked if he still wanted to have sex

DawnShadow_fml 5

Wednesday 1 February 2012 22:32

While your vomiting ask him if he wants a *******

Comments

InUrArea 4

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:54

I hope you went to the doctor to see if you had a clued head injury

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 2 February 2012 18:37

"clued head injury"????? Autocorrect gone bad?

marilyn2012 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:04

Lmao dumbass horny guys sry chicky hope u feel betta

ThatGirl6 9

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:04

Terrible boyfriend you've got there

FMLbeginner 0

Friday 17 February 2012 19:56

For the horde! Sorry couldn't resist.

withasmile 3

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:10

Vomiting can be a sign of serious head injury. And he's a douche.

ashtyyn 4

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:14

Vomiting after hitting your head is a sign of a concussion, you should really go to the hospitle and tell him to stick it in the dirt

Clamcreepy 7

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:18

men are some weird creatures when it comes to having sex. Not all of us are jerks but most are.

piroshiromaro 4

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:18

Well sex helps get rid of headaches(; but seriously, go to the doctor, vomiting is a bad sign!

geod69 8

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:55

Score one the man

SoultheWolf 19

Thursday 2 February 2012 2:11

If he can't respect you enough then he doesn't deserve to be your boyfriend. Go to the hospital, sound slike you had a concussion...

sambo1andonly 5

Thursday 2 February 2012 2:59

Sex helps headaches.

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I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 771

You deserved it 2 046

The Top

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 354

You deserved it 6 839

Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 201

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 445

You deserved it 9 676

Today, my boyfriend of over 2 years said he wants to get married before he leaves for basic training. Not because he loves me, but because he'll get paid more if he's married. This is the only time he's been excited about marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 828

You deserved it 4 964

Today, after I helped get my boyfriend get a new job, he thanked me by dumping me for some whore who works there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 1 240

Today, I spent half an hour trying to convince my husband not to re-enact a video he saw online of a guy tying some rope to a running chainsaw, then swinging it around his head. He finally agreed not to do something so stupid. A few hours later, he did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 850

You deserved it 2 633