Embarrassing, Dogs, Awkward and Animals: It's not what you think… - FML

It's not what you think…

By sucks - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 932

You deserved it 158 996

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Top comments

MURPHYCHACHO 5

Monday 18 May 2009 9:49

What. The. Hell. Are. You. Smoking?

fueledbyamy 0

Monday 18 May 2009 9:51

thats so wrong, but so ******* hilarious at the same time!

Comments

sillycow101 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 4:38

ur a ******* retard

bLazeni 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 9:58

I literally LMAO

domxxily 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 23:02

hahahha! that made me literally LOL!

Quagmire_ladies 9

Wednesday 22 September 2010 2:35

LMFAO!!!!

Evox19 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 0:48

HAHAHA YOU PLOWED YOUR DOG!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHAHAHAHAHA NO EXCUSE!! that ***** going to ride with you to you die! showing dominance by tryin to corn hole poor woofy!!!!! ahhhhahahaha. lol

shady821 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 14:45

LOLed hard irl.. best fkin blog here :D

DABEARSS34 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 3:31

Wow, you really take your relationship with your dog seriously.

richayrton 1

Monday 18 October 2010 10:22

*******.WIN. I love this fml, fake or not

Milcah_fml 1

Thursday 4 November 2010 22:18

What the hell?1 LMAO!!!

aasouls 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 20:48

let me guess then your mom started humping the dog also

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Keywords

Relatable Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Teenagers Animals Dogs Video games

The Top

Today, a friend and I tell each other everything about our relationships, and we’ve been flirting for two years, but we’re not together. I started to have feelings for him, but I didn’t say anything, then the guy started to disappear and I don't know if he has an avoidant attachment, or he's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 495

Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 980

The Top

Today, my 19-year-old daughter got a haircut. When I asked her if she tipped the hairdresser, she looked at me in horror and asked, "You’re supposed to tip hairdressers?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 687

Today, I had just finished writing my rough draft essay, so I went to sit by the pond. A giant moth suddenly flew down and attacked me, causing me to drop my binder in the pond, ruining the essay. I discovered in the aftermath that the moth was actually a leaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 896

You deserved it 33 347

Today, I thought I'd save some money by doing my own electrical work. When I turned the power back on, it caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 850

You deserved it 18 318

Today, my dad asked me to help him buy a laptop by searching online. He explicitly said, "When you have time." I decided to shower as I had just woken up. While showering, I was startled by loud banging and my dad angrily asking why I wasn't looking for his laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 756

You deserved it 147

Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 244

You deserved it 27 656

Today, I found out I have a bad singing voice. How? The choir judge decided to yell "STOP! Please just stop!" During my solo. In front of everyone. During the show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 979

You deserved it 263