iTouch

By lonely girl - 02/07/2013 06:47 - United States - Oregon City

Spicy
Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 382
You deserved it 22 825
Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…
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Top comments

Juneyah1017 9

.... Find a man! It shouldn't be hard if you want sex.

251 25

Comments

perdix 29

You need to invest the time and effort to learn effective manual self-stimulation. That could really . . . *lowers sunglasses* come in handy.

139 8
Kn0wledge123 21

YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

46 4
FlyingLeumer 19

Did you just tell the almighty Perdix to get out? Shame! Shame! Shame! He might smite you, you better watch out.

25 5
perdix 29

#65, thanks, but redgreenblue is also an FML immortal, except here she is being like Daedalus pushing poor perdix from a tall tower because she's jealous that I spanked that "lowers sunglasses" pun so hard. I trust Athena and the thumb army to save me.

30 6
FlyingLeumer 19

I have noticed you've lowered your sunglasses quite a bit lately, please, try not to get a sunburn!

21 2
perdix 29

#72, oh, that's just a coincidence. I just use the sunglasses when it "feels right" and it just so happened that it has felt right a few times in the past couple of days. I've gone for weeks without them and I don't need to go to any more LSGA* meetings. *Lowers Sun Glasses Anonymous

18 4
tacojauns 45

Haha I just imagine op yelling at himself "FASTER, FASTER GOD DAMIT!"

35 13
perdix 29

#17, hmmmm, gender dysphoria could be part of the problem.

9 3
biscuitninja 4

Ouch... maybe invest in a toy and a boyfriend.... one is MUCH cheaper than the other. Choose wisely.

27 3
Ryodin 11

Yeah. The boyfriend is much cheaper. He increases your budget by buying you tons of stuff. Including the aforementioned toy(s).

20 3
RedPillSucks 31

Yeah, but she really wanted the Harry Potter wand.

27 2
JasonUMN 15

I am so disappointed no one has commented, "I'll lend you a hand" yet.

40 3
perdix 29

It would probably work if you got your hand to take you to dinner and a movie first. Maybe some dancing and a few drinks. A girl wants to be romanced. If it gives you a beautiful ring, be suspicious of its motives.

49 4
revolution4ever 14

It's been awhile, hasn't it? I suggest finding a handyman to fix your problem.

3 14
gary3768 13

I know somebody already said this and I agree with them. Most the time it's a mind thing

6 2
Kn0wledge123 21

Time for a bf or at least a toy. You could borrow the "wand" from the other FML.

12 3