Miscellaneous: Jailbird - FML

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 347

You deserved it 14 501

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 18:23

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 134

You deserved it 3 563

By bellaskyeb - 08/01/2012 17:42 - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 274

You deserved it 4 252

Cheeky

By anonymous - 20/11/2015 19:07 - United States

Today, my ex got arrested for stealing. His new girlfriend texted me asking if I could lend her money to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 419

You deserved it 1 974

Walk on the wild side

By Anonymous - 11/11/2020 07:01 - United States - Tyler

Today, I had to go get my fiancé's car so it wouldn't get impounded after he was arrested at 12 a.m. and charged with a felony. I just got out of prison in March, and we get married next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 3 280

The cheek of some people

By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 14:02

Today, the girl my ex-husband cheated on me with, and left me for, called me and asked for money to bail him out of jail. She asked me because I have my own business and I'm financially stable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 115

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 141

You deserved it 4 663

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 21:14 - United States

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 497

You deserved it 3 387

By Anonymous - 20/04/2016 00:56 - United States - Oceanside

Today, my husband's ex-girlfriend is getting a restraining order on him. Turns out, for the past 2 years of our marriage, he has been trying to contact her and ditching work to stalk her. To top it all off, he told me not to come to court with him because he doesn't want her to see he downgraded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 694

You deserved it 2 225

By fleetingmemories - 29/11/2013 23:55 - United States - Falls Church

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 034

You deserved it 4 327

Nice husband you've got there…

By dididikaisik - 01/08/2021 05:01 - United States

Today, I received a call from my husband of 10 years from prison. He sobbed on the phone as he explained to me that his anger got the best of him, and couldn’t control himself. He beat the pulp out of a classmate of his for declining a date with him, and sent her to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 107

Next

Top comments

Melayia 14

Monday 27 July 2015 14:06

And you did this why? Doesn't seem like your problem to me.

not_your_taco 15

Monday 27 July 2015 14:05

Your ex needs to grow a pair. If his wife finds out on her own she'll be a lot more mad than if he just told her

Comments

milmac 9

Monday 27 July 2015 21:29

You "had to"? No, you didn't "have to". You could have -- you *should* have -- told him to call his new wife. You said it yourself: he's your EXhusband. Not your problem any more.

Goblin182 26

Monday 27 July 2015 21:31

I'm pretty sure you didn't "have to".

ididntdoitiswear 14

Monday 27 July 2015 22:12

...You didn't have to. You know that, right?

punknchunk 4

Monday 27 July 2015 22:14

You didn't HAVE to do anything. next time leave him there. you should give a flying fart in space if his new wife gets mad at him. he's your ex husband as in not your dang problem anymore.

KitKat20_fml 20

Monday 27 July 2015 23:09

No you didn't, you don't owe him shit. That's his wife's responsibility, not yours.

jensbae 5

Monday 27 July 2015 23:25

He's not your husband anymore. It's not your problem if he gets arrested.

Dallyni 22

Monday 27 July 2015 23:25

Well, you didn't HAVE to do it

drrobotnik1 18

Monday 27 July 2015 23:46

YDI for doing it. if he's so awful, leave him there to rot! if you like him enough to bail him out, then you have nothing to complain about, since you're helping out a friend. either way, you didn't "have to." you did this to yourself.

BrassWing13 11

Monday 27 July 2015 23:55

YDI for actually doing it, he's clearly a bad person if he's in jail and had to call his ex wife for bail

Fmlsea 28

Tuesday 28 July 2015 9:27

just because he was in jail doesnt mean hes a bad person , you dont know what he was arrested for so you cant make tyat assumption. afterall he could've been arrested for peeing in public and that wouldnt make him a bad person.

IIIIRowdy 5

Monday 27 July 2015 23:56

But why?

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 434

You deserved it 46 509

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 1 032

The Top

Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 173

You deserved it 42 419

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 852

You deserved it 373

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask out the girl I like. After nervously fumbling through my words, I asked, "Want to grab a cup of water sometime?" She looked at me confused, then asked if I meant coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 121

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend when he suddenly got down on one knee and proposed. A waiter tripped over him and spilled our food all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 615

You deserved it 510

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 696

You deserved it 5 365

Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 781

You deserved it 3 991