Sex, Jealousy and Intimacy: Jump on me, I beg you - FML

Jump on me, I beg you

By RachelVanLannen9 - 12/07/2010 01:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 234

You deserved it 10 724

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Same thing different taste

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By Katrina641 - 26/02/2010 04:20 - France

Spicy

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 523

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By Magicfml - 05/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I learned that my boyfriend is a better pole dancer than I am, despite daily practice. This was his first time trying it. FML

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By missingcharlie - 17/08/2009 02:45 - United States

Spicy

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I agree, your life sucks 45 151

You deserved it 5 701

By lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Spicy

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 124

You deserved it 3 797

By Elise - 28/04/2012 23:36 - United States

Spicy

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I agree, your life sucks 28 536

You deserved it 4 590

Experiment!

By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Spicy

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I agree, your life sucks 15 329

You deserved it 4 326

Practical

By Abused - 13/10/2010 08:36 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 903

You deserved it 20 148

By asdfghjkl_12 - 25/02/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 778

You deserved it 6 715

By Lisa - 18/07/2014 20:21 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 115

You deserved it 7 376

Doggy style

By failuretolaunch2 - 26/02/2015 03:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 575

You deserved it 4 902

Next

Top comments

JordynnLOL 11

Monday 12 July 2010 9:04

surely a girl rides a guy? ..

beastlycass 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:04

ouch that sucks. go buy a vibrator

Comments

iicyfreshhXD 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:43

pogo sticks are pretty awesome though :o

the_flirtt 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:43

wow ?

HappyPickles 11

Monday 12 July 2010 9:48

I clicked FYL, because no woman should feel so deprived :o) However, let's pause for thought on this. Is your idea of making sex fun just lying back and staring at the ceiling? Perhaps his fire needs a spark from you to get it going? ... Or in his case, to jump start it?

4winds 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:53

how does a man ride a girl?

the_flirtt 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:59

ask ur mom she'll know jk

Freeze_fml 16

Monday 12 July 2010 9:54

*than Time to make a new picture...

laxbro6900 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:57

wow wut a **** no offence

fiveoh 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:59

Dayum!

hhheeeyyyooo 0

Monday 12 July 2010 10:00

this is hardly an FML. kinda sucky I guess but definitely not f**k worthy. YDI

Stevefett 0

Monday 12 July 2010 10:01

Sorry lady but when it's a choice between your ****** or pogoing it's a no brainer.

SoundnVasion 0

Monday 12 July 2010 10:04

ydi for being possibly unattractive!

StevenSS 0

Monday 12 July 2010 10:04

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Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Intimacy AITA Sex Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Cheating

The Top

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 086

You deserved it 2 489

Today, my old boss is such an arsehole that not only did he fire me last week, he completely forgot about firing me and when he saw me in the shop as a customer, he yelled at me for being late and out of uniform. I swear his mother didn’t birth him, she shat him out the other hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, a girl I've been crushing on for over a year finally gave me her number. I lost the note at home, but found it a few hours later. I excitedly called, only to find she'd written down the number for the local Pizza Hut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 951

You deserved it 4 586

Today, I found out how my high school dropout parents were able to support three children. Porn. A truly awe inspiring amount of homemade porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 89

Today, after leaving one job, reducing my hours at another, completing all the onboarding requirements for a nursing home, and dealing with serious anxiety, I was told they don’t have hours available for me and don’t know when they will. I got laid off before even starting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 68

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 020

You deserved it 97 596

Today, I failed a CAPTCHA seven times before completing it. They didn't lie when they said they are making them harder. I don't think I'm a robot, but maybe I should get tested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 118

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 978

You deserved it 9 991