Sex, Jealousy and Intimacy: Jump on me, I beg you - FML

Jump on me, I beg you

By RachelVanLannen9 - 12/07/2010 01:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 234

You deserved it 10 724

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

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By Katrina641 - 26/02/2010 04:20 - France

Spicy

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 523

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By lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Spicy

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

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By Elise - 28/04/2012 23:36 - United States

Spicy

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By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Spicy

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I agree, your life sucks 15 329

You deserved it 4 326

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By Abused - 13/10/2010 08:36 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 903

You deserved it 20 148

By asdfghjkl_12 - 25/02/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 778

You deserved it 6 715

By Lisa - 18/07/2014 20:21 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 115

You deserved it 7 376

Doggy style

By failuretolaunch2 - 26/02/2015 03:31 - United States

Spicy

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I agree, your life sucks 37 575

You deserved it 4 902

Next

Top comments

JordynnLOL 11

Monday 12 July 2010 9:04

surely a girl rides a guy? ..

beastlycass 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:04

ouch that sucks. go buy a vibrator

Comments

bloodmonk115 3

Monday 12 July 2010 13:52

could be worse he could be riding that and someone else more

imhowie 2

Monday 12 July 2010 14:29

First off, you ride him. Secondly, he just got it. Give him a chance to enjoy it for a little while!

dacho 7

Monday 12 July 2010 14:35

FYL cause Europeans whose native language isn't English can speak it better than you do. I'm sorry, I meant better THEN you do. Just in case you didn't understand.

nabo4u 0

Monday 12 July 2010 14:46

get even with him. buy a bucket of peanut butter and a puppy

KarateDuck 0

Monday 12 July 2010 14:48

No wonder, you're supposed to ride him!

Krissmiss0131 2

Monday 12 July 2010 15:06

wow...that sucks hope he leaves it in the driveway so you can back over it with your car ;)

perdix 29

Monday 12 July 2010 15:29

Go find another stick to ride up and down on. You'll forget your boyfriend pretty quickly.

tucansam555 3

Monday 12 July 2010 16:35

1. **** U pogo sticks r amazing 2. maybe u suck at ****

cgoatr 0

Monday 12 July 2010 17:02

Waite? don't you ride him?

caribou_megs 7

Monday 12 July 2010 17:27

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Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Intimacy AITA Sex Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Cheating

The Top

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

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You deserved it 524

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 023

The Top

Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 491

You deserved it 2 469

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 364

You deserved it 112 414

Today, my fiancé asked his 13-year-old sister what role she wanted in our upcoming wedding. Her response was "Saying I object!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 282

You deserved it 438

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 431

You deserved it 4 243

Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of time since I've been looking for a job. I got an e-mail yesterday from a company for a telephone interview which I was happy about. The day of the interview, my phone is disconnected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 985

You deserved it 1 012

Today, my boss had a "team-building" event, which involved a game of trust falls. As I fell backwards, my coworkers failed to catch me, and I crumbled onto the floor. I'm now spending the afternoon in the ER with a sprained ankle, and my boss called to check if I still trust the team. Great bonding experience, guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 102