Movies, Scary and Love: Jump scare - FML

Jump scare

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 999

You deserved it 13 985

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Same thing different taste

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 11 474

Scary

By xHoho - 26/11/2013 05:50 - United States - West Fargo

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 323

You deserved it 8 729

By Nick - 22/05/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 874

You deserved it 758

By pussyface96 - 19/09/2012 09:27 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 608

You deserved it 44 554

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 09:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 149

You deserved it 2 367

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 459

You deserved it 452

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 251

By locksmack - 14/06/2009 12:46 - Australia

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 896

You deserved it 58 062

By Ariel_Mariaa - 04/11/2011 23:25 - Canada

Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 529

You deserved it 4 286

By Bianka05 - 19/07/2017 20:00

Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 991

You deserved it 961

Next

Top comments

1800getalife 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 20:04

you gf is the man of the house...

boatkicker 4

Sunday 31 January 2010 21:09

It's impossible to pee yourself when you're startled? Completely not. You know how when people are startled they often involuntarily flinch? Well now consider that you have a rather full bladder, but are waiting for a better time to get up. Involuntary muscle twitch of the wrong muscles, makes it entirely possible to wet yourself.

Comments

TruleighSadistic 0

Monday 1 February 2010 3:16

wow either your truly hot or its tru love cause.. i might of left your ass.. if you were my man.. but then again idk i date bitches n e ways.. she might of thought it was sexy you never know.. did you escuse yourself before she found out or did you soak the couch also..

caits13 0

Monday 1 February 2010 3:19

Aww poor thing. Hope it went okay after because if she was 'pissed' (lmfao) about it, she's not worth it. Unless of course she's good sex.

Z1LVER 0

Monday 1 February 2010 3:33

haha then don't watch scary movies

dancecheerluv 0

Monday 1 February 2010 4:03

hahahahaah!

lestatsgirl27 0

Monday 1 February 2010 4:10

hahahahahahahaha

hotboy977 0

Monday 1 February 2010 4:40

pffffffhahahahaha dude next time, take some pullups lmao

connor86 0

Monday 1 February 2010 5:33

wow

fmlqueen123hahah 0

Monday 1 February 2010 5:41

hahaha ouch

FightOfYourLife 0

Monday 1 February 2010 6:20

number 28 has hot abs

SoccerPlaya17 0

Monday 1 February 2010 6:38

who actually believes this?

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The Top

Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 968

You deserved it 3 903

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 295

You deserved it 2 147

The Top

Today, I was minding a 6-year old boy. He begged me to take him somewhere. I rang his mum, and she said I could. He picked to go to McDonald's. He ordered chicken. After his meal, he told me he was vegetarian, and wanted to try some meat while his mum wasn't around. I got the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 202

You deserved it 4 393

Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 878

You deserved it 156

Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 262

You deserved it 3 303

Today, my husband of 4 years is tagged in a #ValentinesDayChallenge post on Facebook. No, I didn’t tag him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 116

Today, I had to endure a long drive from Poland to England. We weren't allowed to open our windows. My mum threw up. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 508

You deserved it 3 364

Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 225

You deserved it 3 926