Movies, Scary and Love: Jump scare - FML

Jump scare

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 999

You deserved it 13 985

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Same thing different taste

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 11 474

Scary

By xHoho - 26/11/2013 05:50 - United States - West Fargo

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 323

You deserved it 8 729

By Nick - 22/05/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 874

You deserved it 758

By pussyface96 - 19/09/2012 09:27 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 608

You deserved it 44 554

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 09:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 149

You deserved it 2 367

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 459

You deserved it 452

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 251

By locksmack - 14/06/2009 12:46 - Australia

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 896

You deserved it 58 062

By Ariel_Mariaa - 04/11/2011 23:25 - Canada

Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 529

You deserved it 4 286

By Bianka05 - 19/07/2017 20:00

Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 991

You deserved it 961

Next

Top comments

1800getalife 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 20:04

you gf is the man of the house...

boatkicker 4

Sunday 31 January 2010 21:09

It's impossible to pee yourself when you're startled? Completely not. You know how when people are startled they often involuntarily flinch? Well now consider that you have a rather full bladder, but are waiting for a better time to get up. Involuntary muscle twitch of the wrong muscles, makes it entirely possible to wet yourself.

Comments

monirami87 0

Monday 1 February 2010 6:48

oh haha that sucks.

LexiRawr 0

Monday 1 February 2010 7:58

Lmao I'm sorry but that's just sad.

desert760 0

Monday 1 February 2010 9:07

hahah ur a PUSSY. u fucken fag.

nyc718 0

Monday 1 February 2010 10:19

Now check to see if your package shriveled up inside you. What a fruitcake.

slapmeontheass 0

Monday 1 February 2010 11:00

you are such a pussy

hiuwo 0

Monday 1 February 2010 12:58

what's the name of the movie

heLeN182oo9 0

Monday 1 February 2010 15:39

******* epic!!!! xDD

vampkid 0

Monday 1 February 2010 18:50

Heh...hilarious.

desert760 0

Monday 1 February 2010 23:58

u pussy

_whoops 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 5:36

aww haha im sorry that happend to you

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Shopping Medication Health Anger issues Birds Animals Embarrassing Weddings Pranks YouTube TikTok Dogs Cute AITA Work Parents Sex Intimacy Awkward Frustration Mental health Annoying Relatable Technology Transportation Poopoo peepee Am I overreacting? Lonely Love

The Top

Today, I was telling my mom my boyfriend started an argument because I’ve not been feeling well, so I haven’t cooked or wanted sex for a week or so. My dad piped up that if mom used such a lame excuse to avoid blowjobs and cooking, he’d damn we’ll start an argument too. Mom agreed with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 328

Today, while at work in a subscription TV call center, a 71 year-old male customer went into explicit detail about the "adults only" programming that he enjoys, including all the kinky things he learns from said programming, and tries out on his 70 year-old wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 013

You deserved it 6 524

The Top

Today, I was hanging out with a friend at an ice cream place, and a guy started chatting with us. As he eventually went to leave, he told me, "That's a nice looking date you got there." Then he turned to my friend. "Wish I could say the same to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 565

You deserved it 1 017

Today, while at a rest stop, I heard a woman in the stall next to me answer her phone and say to the other person, "Oh nothing just pooping and shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 880

You deserved it 546

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 390

You deserved it 7 492

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 084

You deserved it 7 166

Today, my girlfriend has become completely obsessed with YouTube makeup tutorials. She’s already beautiful and used to take 30 minutes tops to get ready. Now every time we leave the house, it’s some 2-hour paint session where she ends up looking like an unrecognizable fucking psychopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 153

Today, it was my first day as a pharm tech. Two hours into my shift, I came down with awful food poisoning, causing me to go to the restroom multiple times before eventually leaving. I'd filled multiple controlled substances today and can't help but think my coworkers are thinking I'm a drug addict. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 139