Bikes and Transportation: When life gives you lemons…

When life gives you lemons…

By Lemonhead - 30/11/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 016

You deserved it 3 187

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Same thing different taste

By lumacsp - 08/10/2009 12:22 - United States

Today, I stopped at the light when someone crashed on to my motorcycle making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I forgot to lift the helmet shield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 284

You deserved it 52 425

By sillystring - 13/10/2009 10:09 - China

Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 790

You deserved it 3 196

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 226

You deserved it 2 475

BIKES

By ihpgolj - 18/06/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 876

You deserved it 43 976

By i hit a cyclist - 27/05/2013 11:19 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 082

You deserved it 25 626

By prettyinpurple - 10/02/2009 04:54 - United States

Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 943

You deserved it 56 308

Rollin'

By Anonymous - 01/09/2016 03:40 - United States - San Jose

Today, I was driving home when a guy crashed into me from behind. I got out of my car and told him that I was going to call the cops. He then asked me if we could move to a corner because we were blocking the way, so we then got back in to move. I looked in the mirror to see him driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 969

You deserved it 4 712

By magicman - 04/07/2012 09:04 - United States

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 162

You deserved it 31 439

By fuck right off - 04/04/2015 17:32 - United Kingdom - Coalville

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 537

You deserved it 3 025

By Tequila - 20/06/2011 16:12 - Netherlands

Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 586

You deserved it 3 217

Youwantwhatnow 0

Monday 30 November 2009 15:05

Forget making lemonade. I use that shit for ammo.

Damncows 2

Monday 30 November 2009 13:03

Gotta love Jersey.

Comments

Damncows 2

Monday 30 November 2009 13:03

Gotta love Jersey.

Peroxide 3

Monday 30 November 2009 15:41

Is this the home of the Guido? Do these guidos drive around threatening people with lemons?? Citrus in yo eye bitch! Gangsta!

Damncows 2

Monday 30 November 2009 21:19

Have you ever been to New Jersey?

danyfuckinheatle 0

Thursday 1 July 2010 7:24

************ is a great alternative to sex.

misterhipster 4

Friday 11 March 2011 15:46

you realized you spelled that wrong idiot. " masturbation"

anormalperson 25

Friday 25 July 2014 13:22

who said anything about masturbation?

sadgasmic 0

Monday 30 November 2009 13:05

you deserved it for getting in the way

paulie1998 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 3:05

I like your shoes.

kittykat1501 31

Tuesday 26 January 2016 0:22

jeez, people can't take a moderately good joke.

jts2 3

Monday 30 November 2009 13:12

Lemonhead. Love the name. Reminds me of "Mellonhead" Johnny, off Ed, Edd, n' Eddy.

waterynuggets 0

Monday 30 November 2009 13:15

Lmao When life gives you lemons, you paint that shit gold.

jelmermcgee 8

Monday 30 November 2009 17:08

No no no. When life gives you lemons, you just say **** the lemons and bail.

poisonfrog7 2

Monday 30 November 2009 22:25

all of you are wrong. When life gives you lemons, YOU GIVE THOSE LEMONS LIFE!!!!. LEMONSTEIN!!!!!!!!!

waterynuggets 0

Tuesday 1 December 2009 0:50

Hey! Remember what Mrs. Doubtfire said, IT WAS A RUN-BY FRUITING

TheHeroOfTime 0

Tuesday 1 December 2009 1:37

LMFAO EXPLOSM

abrasive_punk 0

Tuesday 1 December 2009 3:08

Drive-by fruiting in this case.

Xyphonic 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 5:45

@ #22 You seem to know your Cyanide & Happiness :D

Cjw1220 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 21:19

When god gives you lemons, you FIND A NEW GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡’¿,….»58======]~

GLaDOSv1_09 19

Thursday 29 March 2012 4:36

When life gives you lemons, you use them to burn life's house down.

smiller0789 3

Monday 30 November 2009 13:57

This is something I'd expect to see on MLIA

kittykat1501 31

Tuesday 26 January 2016 0:23

shhhh... we do not speak of that site here.

FromCFL 0

Monday 30 November 2009 14:42

Way to get in the way, douchebag. YDI all the way.

ITuMT 0

Monday 30 November 2009 14:48

Fail throw

sdcrazy1018 0

Monday 30 November 2009 14:54

lol sorry that made me laugh. It sounds like something that would happen to me.

itsbecca 11

Monday 30 November 2009 15:05

when life gives you lemons, post it on FML!

Youwantwhatnow 0

Monday 30 November 2009 15:05

Forget making lemonade. I use that shit for ammo.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

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I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 9

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

The Top

Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 838

You deserved it 1 143

Today, a co-worker came back from his honeymoon. He passed by my office to say hi, and mentioned, "I heard you're getting married next year?" I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. He's taking his things out of the house as I write this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 177

Today, I got a zero on my math test. My teacher was convinced that I had written the answers on my arm. No answers, just really thick, black arm hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 519

You deserved it 3 330

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 417

You deserved it 7 163

Today, my boyfriend has spent weeks trying to get me to cancel my breast reduction surgery, for selfish reasons obviously, even though he knows how bad my spinal problems are getting. I don’t want a hunched back in my 30’s, but all he cares about is his sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 998

You deserved it 302

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 653

You deserved it 14 304

When life gives you lemons…

Same thing different taste

BIKES

Rollin'

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