Kids: Kids these days…

Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 13/04/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, my two year-old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 067

You deserved it 24 987

Halloween: Terror and Laughter
Discover stories that combine fright and humor for an unforgettably funny Halloween. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Viciousvixen_21 - 02/04/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 668

You deserved it 12 246

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 036

You deserved it 6 860

Little shit

By moneyman22 - 01/03/2010 19:09 - United States

Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 474

You deserved it 3 966

Demon child

By Some Guy - 12/10/2015 00:54 - United States - Allen

Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 365

You deserved it 2 771

Not her fault nor mine

By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 532

You deserved it 461

By badmom101 - 16/05/2009 11:26 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 690

You deserved it 6 399

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 27/08/2020 10:02 - Australia - Murarrie

Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 1 291

By Zora - 15/07/2012 23:13 - Norway - Bergen

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 268

You deserved it 3 789

By vreenya - 08/04/2014 20:13 - Chile - Santiago

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 614

You deserved it 4 058

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 277

You deserved it 3 558

JBiz_fml 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:03

That sucks. And #1 you go to hell.

hans12 0

Monday 13 April 2009 14:25

um,kid hits you hard enough to leave a bruise = spanking.

Comments

yourafuckup 0

Monday 13 April 2009 17:28

you should not treat him like retard by giving him a flashlight to distract him

Uconnrunner 0

Monday 13 April 2009 17:35

Exactly why I am never having kids.

iEnjoy3_14 0

Monday 13 April 2009 17:46

#32...agreed. plus the public humiliation when they have outbursts over stupid shit. op: sucks for you. next time, give him a pillow.

SpammityCalamity 0

Monday 13 April 2009 18:15

This was a pretty damn retarded FML. Oh, big deal. You gave a kid a flashlight and he hit you in the face.

Common_Sense 0

Monday 13 April 2009 19:26

Ok, this is not a FML... not even close......

bubs_AKA_vermin 0

Monday 13 April 2009 19:40

what a bitch. i would've at least punched him in the face for that.

AlyshaDeShae 10

Monday 13 April 2009 20:10

I'm going to say that you deserve it for attempting to appease a child throwing a tantrum instead of ignoring him or punishing him as would be more appropriate. Seriously, people, temper tantrums are NOT acceptable behavior and you should NOT reward it! #27: I love the Lion King reference. :-D